My Little Girl
by mandyg67
Summary: Derek receives an emergency call that brings him back to New York. (Warning character death). Please note that this is not an ADDEK story.
1. Chapter 1

Meredith looked up when Derek entered the trailer even though he arrived home very late.

He smiled when he saw her. "Have you been having fun with your time off?"

"Eighty hours is still a long workweek, Derek. Longer than yours as an attending, you know."

"Yes."

"And I spent most of the day doing laundry. It turns out that my approach to my time crunch – buying new clothes when I can't do my wash – only means that I have more wash to do."

"You could use a laundry service."

"Derek, interns don't make what surgeons make."

"It's really not that expensive."

"Says the surgeon who makes $2 million a year."

"Okay. So Richard had me look at your mom today."

"Why you?"

"I am a neurosurgeon, you know."

"And Alzheimer's isn't treated by surgery, Derek."

"Well, I did find an experimental trial, and your Mom is eligible."

"That's great, I guess."

"Well, I have the information here on the risks and benefits." But before he could take the information out, the phone rang. He saw an unfamiliar number with a Long Island area code. He figured it might involve have something to do with Lizzie who lived out in Mattituck. "Derek Shepherd, here," he answered.

"Dr. Shepherd? 

"Yes, this is Doctor Shepherd. Who is this?"

"Officer Gavin Patel of the Southampton Police Force. I'm calling about your wife."

Derek was shocked to hear the words "your wife." It has been months since he even though of his wife, much less heard anyone mention the words "your wife" to him. He immediately stepped out of the bedroom, "Addison?"

"Yes, Addison Shepherd is your wife?"

"Yes," Derek admitted. He was nervous. A call from a police officer couldn't possibly be good. No matter what she had done to their marriage he had never wanted anything bad to happen to Addison. "Is she okay?"

The officer did not immediately answer the question, which Derek knew was not a good sign. "She was in a car accident earlier tonight. A drunk driver was driving the wrong way on a one way street at a high rate of speed here in East Quogue and slammed into her car. It was a head-on collision."

"Is Addison okay?" Derek asked again.

"She was taken by ambulance to Southampton Hospital. I touched base with the doctors there, and her condition is serious. They did deliver the baby . . . "

"Baby?" Derek asked. He was startled. He had no idea Addison was pregnant. 

"Yes, your baby was born tonight. She was just 3 pounds 4 ounces, but the doctor said she's in good shape for a baby born at 30 weeks."

"My baby?" Derek knew there was no way possible that Addison could have been pregnant with his child, but he decided not to share that information with the officer.

"Yes, your baby. You are her husband?"

"Yes, I am." Derek decided not to fill the officer in on the state of his marriage.

"What do you know about her injuries?"

"She has a spinal injury. They don't know how severe it is yet. There may have been some other injuries. They say her condition is serious. It would be good if you could get here right away."

Derek wanted to know more about the accident. "Was she alone in the car?"

"No, she was a passenger. It was just her and the driver."

"What is his condition?"

"We're still looking to find his next of kin."

"Was it Mark Sloan?"

"Yes."

"He's practically my brother. How is he doing?"

"Dr. Shepherd, I'm sorry to tell you that he died immediately. He was declared dead at the scene."

At this, Derek's tears started flowing. "Mark is dead?"

"Yes. I am sorry for your loss."

"Dead?"

"Yes."

"And Addison had a baby?"

"Yes."

"And she has a spinal injury and is in serious condition?"

"Yes, you have it."

"And you want me to come to New York tomorrow?"

"Yes, as soon as you can get here. There may be medical decisions that need to be made for your wife and daughter. And does Mr. Sloan"

"Dr. Sloan," Derek interrupted.

"Does Dr. Sloan have any family members?"

"I think his parents are still alive, but they're useless when it comes to him. I can get you their contact information tomorrow."

"Okay. I'll leave my contact information with the hospital."

"Okay."

Shell-shocked, tears streaming down his face, Derek ended the call and walked back into the bedroom.

Meredith was stunned at the sight of her boyfriend. In the seven months since they met at Joe's, he had always been calm and collected. Now tears were pouring down his cheeks and he was openly sobbing. "What happened, Derek?"

Derek looked at Meredith and realized that this was time for total honesty. "I'm so sorry, Meredith."

"Sorry for what, Derek? You're crying."

"Yeah. I just got some bad news."

Meredith went over and hugged him. "You need to share the bad news with me. I love you. You shouldn't be sorry about sharing bad news. I've shared my own bad news with you."

He looked at her. She had total trust in him now; that is why she had told him about her mother's Alzheimer's, her own bad news. Now he was going to destroy that trust. But he had no choice but to tell the truth. "Yeah, I know. And I love you. But first I have something to tell you. Remember when you asked me to tell about myself and I told you my favorite band was the Clash?"

"Sure do." Meredith smiled as she remembered that moment, right before Derek showed her his trailer. "But what does the Class have to do with the call?"

"Nothing. I just left out a very important fact about me. I'm separated, but I'm married." He watched Meredith's reaction closely. She was obviously shocked.

"Married?"

"Yes, married."

"You're married?"

"Yes, but separated."

"Is that legally separated?"

"No, it's so shocked I found my wife in bed with my best friend that I jumped in my car and drove 3,000 miles to Seattle and haven't seen or spoken to her since – that kind of separated."

"What was the call about and why are you crying?"

"Well, the cop said my wife, Addison that is, was in a bad car accident tonight. She is in serious condition, and, get this, they delivered her daughter today. And Mark died."

"Her daughter?" Meredith focused on the baby in the story.

"Hers and Mark's, not mine. The baby is 3 pounds, a preemie, and I left New York more than seven months ago, and we hadn't had sex for some time before then. So clearly, not mine." Derek said emphatically.

"But you're married, right, so the baby is yours."

"Maybe. I don't know about New York law on this. The police officer seemed to think it was my baby, and he wants me to go to New York tomorrow."

"You should go. You're a dad now. Your daughter needs you."

"Not my daughter, Mark's daughter."

"Mark's not here."

"I know. I'm still so mad at him for sleeping with my wife. And yet, when I learned he was dead, I started crying. We've been friends since kindergarten. He was like a brother to me. I guess I always thought we'd make up some day. He called me a few times, but I never picked up or returned the calls."

"It's understandable that you were mad at him."

"Yeah, but now we'll never have the chance to make up."

"Well, maybe now that he's dead you can stop being angry with him."

"I guess."

"And there's no reason for you to be mad at the baby."

"I know that, but she's not mine."

"But Mark is dead, so you're the only father she has now."

"I guess so."

"I grew up without a dad, and it sucks."

"I know. I lost my dad when I was ten." Derek had never talked about his dad with Meredith.

"Oh, so you know it sucks not to have a dad."

"But that doesn't mean I should be a dad to a baby that's not mine."

"Right now, it looks like she's yours. And how is your wife?"

"Her condition is serious. And no doubt she will be devastated by Mark's death. And she's going to have to deal with a preemie. I know I have to go to New York. I'll book the first flight tomorrow."

"I can go with you," Meredith offered.

"Meredith, aren't you furious with me for not telling you about my wife?"

"Yes, I am, Derek, but right now you have an emergency, and I can help."

"I can't ask you to take time off during your first year as an intern. You need to stay and work. I'll be okay."

"Okay," muttered Meredith.

"Don't worry, Meredith, I love you, not Addie. And anyway, she was with Mark. She loved Mark, I guess."

"But he's dead."

"Yeah, but death doesn't stop love. My mom never dated after my dad died. He's still her one true love. Anyway, Addie broke her wedding vows and had an affair with Mark. I'm not interest in rekindling any romance with her. I just think you shouldn't take the time off."

"And it would be weird to bring your girlfriend to your wife's hospital bed."

Derek laughed. "There is that, but that's not my reason. Don't worry about me. I'll call you constantly."

"Okay. I'll stay in Seattle."

"And I may need your help here. I really don't know what I'm going to do about Addie or her daughter. They said her condition was serious, so I'm hoping she's going to survive. I'll know more after I meet with the doctors."


	2. Chapter 2

Derek was exhausted. He had found it very hard to sleep. He kept thinking about Mark dying and Addie lying injured. He was very worried about what he'd find when he arrived at the hospital. And then he had to get up early for his flight. He wasn't able to sleep at all on the plane, as he kept thinking about what he might find when he arrived at the hospital. He had called the hospital as soon as the plane landed only to find that Addie's condition was still serious. The baby, on the other hand, was stable. He used a carry-on, so once he landed he was able to go directly to the car rental place after making one stop at Meredith's urging.

He waited to make any calls until he got onto the Southern State Expressway. He was concerned that he'd get lost trying to get from JFK to the Southern State. He didn't want to make a mistake and miss the exit, but once he was on the Southern State, he would be driving on it for over an hour. It was a boring road but the best way to get to Southampton. So as soon as he got on the Southern State, he looked at his phone. He was lucky that he had never had the impulse to remove all his old contacts. Addie's parents and brother were still on his contact list. He decided to start with Bizzy. But then he remembered that Addie had always told me that he should never call Bizzy directly but always go through Susan. And he liked Susan. She had always been kind to him. He knew that, as far as Addie's parents were concerned, he was not in the right class for her. They had never liked him. So he called Susan.

She answered the phone on the third ring. "Susan here."

"Hi Susan, it's Derek Shepherd."

"Derek, I didn't expect to talk to you again. Aren't you and Addison divorced?"

"Actually, we haven't filed the paperwork yet." Derek knew it was his fault, but he didn't want to go into details. "Anyway, Addison was injured in a car accident, and the police called me."

"How is she?"

"I'm on the way to the hospital to see, but so far I've heard she is in serious condition. She just gave birth to a baby girl."

"That's nice."

"I thought Bizzy would want to know."

"We're here in Palm Beach through the end of March."

"Addie's going to have an extended recovery, probably, and the baby is fine, but she'll need someone to take care of her when she's discharged."

"Bizzy would recommend hiring a nanny for the baby and an aide for Addie."

Derek realized that he had no reason to be disappointed in this reaction; it was entirely predictable. "I'll see what Addison wants to do."

"That sounds good. We can visit when we get back to the city."

"I'm thinking it might make sense for Addie to move to Seattle while she recovers, where I can help take care of both her and the baby. She may need time in rehab, so the baby's going to need care."

"It's Mark's baby."

"I know."

"Do what you think is right. Bizzy and I can visit in Seattle."

"So you don't think Bizzy would want to take care of the baby?" 

"No. You do realize that Bizzy always had a nanny for Addison and Archer."

"I know. But maybe she might want to do something different for her granddaughter."

"If you want, Bizzy can hire a nanny to take care of the baby in New York."

"But she wouldn't be there to supervise."

"Certainly not during the winter season in Palm Beach."

"Okay. I'll take care of them."

Derek found this conversation depressing. He was sure his mother would make her way to Southampton Hospital soon after he told her about the baby. He was holding off on call her until he assessed the situation. But his mom treated Mark like her son, and she would treat his daughter as her granddaughter, no matter what Mark had done to Derek's marriage. And Addie's own mother was neglecting her responsibility both to the baby and to Addie. Derek was outraged on behalf of Addie. And now, as the nearly ex-husband, he was going to wind up taking care of her and her adulterous love child.

For a moment, he thought of Meredith. Both Meredith and Addie were neglected by their mothers. Although maybe Ellis, if she were healthy, would have been more responsive in this situation. Maybe she would have at least wanted to investigate the medical care being provided to her daughter.

Was he attracted to women who were damaged by parental neglect? Or were they attracted to him for some reason? While he had originally thought Meredith was the anti-Addison, in fact they had a lot of similarities. Certainly, they were both brilliant women who loved to boss him around.

Derek turned to the next person on his short lift, the Captain and called. The Captain answered on the fourth ring. "Who is this?" he asked.

"Derek Shepherd."

"I thought you and Addie were divorced."

'Not yet. Actually, I got a call from the police yesterday because we're still married. Addie was in a bad accident."

"Is she okay?"

Derek thought "well, if she was okay, she'd be calling and not me!" But he bit his tongue (metaphorically, that is) and responded, "No, she's in serious condition. And her baby was born prematurely but seems to be doing well."

"Oh, Mark's baby."

So the Captain had known about the baby. "Yes, your granddaughter is doing well. You're very lucky. Anyway, I wanted to see if you had any thoughts about caring for the baby if Addie is still recovering when the hospital is ready to discharge the baby."

"You can hire a nanny."

"It may make sense for Addie and the baby come with me to Seattle."

"I can visit next month if they stay in New York. I'm in Milan on business right now, and I have plans for the rest of the month." 

"Okay. I'll let you know where they are if you want to visit."

"Thank you for taking care of this. By the way, where's Mark in all this?"

"Unfortunately, he died."

"Sorry to hear that. I hope Addie isn't heartbroken."

"She probably will be. But I hope that her new baby gives her joy."

"Me, too."

By now, Derek was in already in Babylon. He decided to call his only lawyer friend, Weiss before delving further into Addie's family. "Weiss, it's Derek."

"Hi Derek, it's been a long time. Where are you?

"I have some awful news, Weiss. Addie and Mark were in a bad accident last night. Mark was killed, and Addie's in serious condition. She also had a baby."

"That's awful. Savvy is going to be beside herself. How's the baby doing?"

"She's a preemie, but doing well I think. I'll let you know more about their situation later, after I get to the hospital. I just have a quick legal question for you."

"Few legal questions are quick, Derek, but I'll try. You do know I'm a corporate lawyer, not a family lawyer."

"Yes. Do you know Addie and I are still married?"

"She told Savvy she was filing for divorce."

"Well, she sent me paperwork for divorce several times, but I never opened the packages, well not until this morning. She had sent a separation agreement."

"That's pretty standard in New York."

"Well, the cop called me because we're still married."

"That much I know. If you have not filed papers for legal separation or divorce, you are married."

"So is the baby mine, legally?"

"I would think so, but you might be able to get out of it if there was a DNA test that showed Mark was the dad."

"I'm not doing that," Derek immediately responded.

"Why not?"

"Mark is dead. The baby needs a dad. And I like kids. Years ago, Mark and I joked that we'd be godparents to each other's children. He was my best friend. His parents can't be trusted to take care of a baby, and neither can Addie's. I just called them both, and neither can be bothered to even visit Addie in the hospital this month. They both suggested hiring a nanny to take care of their granddaughter. Can you believe it?"

"Sad to say, I certainly can. Her folks were never hands on. But I certainly got the feeling that Addie was a bit of a daddy's girl."

"She loves her parents, both of them. But they don't know how to be there for her. I'm willing to be that if I called my mother, she'd leave for the hospital within 15 minutes, no matter what they did to my marriage."

"Your mom is amazing."

"Yeah, that's for sure."

"What about Addie? Are you going to stay married?"

"Not in the long run. I've got to see how she's doing, though. She might need my health insurance for a while. Anyway, I have a wonderful girlfriend."

"A girlfriend? That sounds so high school, Derek."

"Do you have another term to suggest for a girl you love?"

"Well, I love my wife."

"And your wife didn't sleep with your best friend. And have your best friend's baby."

"I could see how those would be unforgiveable."

"Look, Addie's in bad shape, and I'm here to help here, so I don't want to be talking about not forgiving her. Right now I'm here as a friend."

"And as a dad for the baby?"

"That, too."

"What if Addie doesn't want you to be the dad? She was trying to divorce you."

Derek hadn't contemplated Addie rejecting him as the dad. "If Mark was alive, he would have been the dad. Maybe I'll be an uncle, and not a dad. But she's going to need help with the baby, and I doubt Archer is going to step up."

"Maybe he'll surprise you and be a great uncle."

"What are the odds, Weiss?"

"Not good. I'm not going to be against you on this."

"We'll see. He's my next call."

"Well, keep me updated. And let me know when Savvy and I can come and visit Addie and meet the baby."

"Sure will."

Without skipping a beat, Derek placed a call to Archer. He had long thought it was unfair. He had four sisters, and they all adored Addie. There were many times when he thought they liked their sister-in-law better than their brother. But Archer had never liked him.

Archer was in his office, and his secretary agreed to put him thought.

"Derek, what do I owe this pleasure to?"

"Archer, I'm sorry to be the one with bad news, but Addie was in a bad accident yesterday. The cops called me, as her husband. I'm on my way to Southampton Hospital. She is in serious condition, and they delivered her daughter. The baby is stable, so that's good."

"What do you know about Addie's condition?"

"Just what I told you. I'll find out more when I'm there."

"Do that and call me. I might be able to get out there tomorrow. What about Mark? Was he in the car?"

"He died."

"Addie will be devastated."

"I'm sure."

"She really loved Mark."

"I'm sure," Derek replied, thinking that Archer had no tact. Really, as Addie's husband, Derek wasn't interested in hearing about Addie's love for Mark.

"Call me after you get there. I'd like to know how she is."

"Okay. Will do. Good-bye." Well, the call to Archer had gone better than Derek had predicted. He did love Addie, that was sure. And it was good that there was a family member willing to visit her.

Soon afterward Derek reached Southampton Hospital. After parking his rental car, he stood outside the hospital for a few minutes. It was a beautiful, modern suburban hospital. He knew it was affiliated with Stony Brook University Medical School and had both interns and residents, but it was very different from Mount Sinai where he practiced last in the New York area and from Seattle Grace. But he knew it could provide Addie and her baby with high quality medical care.

He paused, thinking that he had to make a transition from Dr. Derek Shepherd, Chief of Neurosurgery of Seattle Grace and Meredith Grey's boyfriend to Derek Shepherd, husband of patient Addison Montgomery Shepherd and father of a nameless baby. He knew that Addie must have a name picked out, and, if he had been any kind of husband, he would know her chosen name. Oh well. He would just say that they had decided to wait til the baby was born to name her, and that he would wait until Addie chose the name. There was no way he was going to name Addie's daughter. He also knew that it would be best for Addie and the baby if he played the role of the devoted husband and father. There was no need to let anyone know of their private affairs.

And he wondered how he would feel about seeing the baby. He had dreamed for many years of a having a little red haired girl and a brown haired boy with Addie. He had been disappointed when she had decided to prioritize her career and wait for a better time for having a baby. He hoped he would not be overcome with jealousy for Mark, who, after all, was dead and missing out on one of life's great joys, raising his child.


	3. Chapter 3

Derek was nervous as he walked into the hospital. He and Meredith had stayed up last night talking about what he was likely to find when he got to the hospital. The baby was preemie, but doing well, so she would probably be going home from the hospital in couple of weeks, and she would need a home to go to, assuming Addie wouldn't be ready to be discharged home.

He was much more worried about Addie. A spinal injury in a head-on collision that had such force it left the driver dead could range from a minor injury to a life threatening one that could also result in a lifelong disability. That Addie was in serious condition meant she would probably (although not certainly) live. Derek refused to think about the range of injuries Addie could have suffered, but he knew hat if the driver was dead, she would probably need some significant rehab, even if she could make a full recovery. And he wouldn't bet on the odds of a full recovery.

He stopped at the front desk and quickly learned the location of the NICU and of Addison. The receptionist told met that Addison was still in serious condition and had was still unconscious. Meredith had urged him to start by visiting the NICU, so that's where he went first. He paused outside the NICU for a moment, and then he spoke to the nurse. She told him she'd be happy to show him to "baby girl Shepherd." Derek realized that Addie must still be using his name, or at least she never changed the address on her driver's license. He knew that hospitals always used the mother's last name for the baby, even if the parents were married and intended to give the baby the father's name. He had visited his sisters every time they gave birth, and the babies were always "baby girl Shepherd" for those who had retained their maiden name (Nancy and Kathy). Having used that her married name for all her medical boards and licensing, it probably made sense to stay Dr. Addison Montgomery Shepherd, at least until the divorce was final. And if she wanted to stay Shepherd, that was fine with Derek. Some divorced women kept their married names because it was easier than going through all the paperwork to change the name back. Really, it was not his business what last name Addison wanted to use.

So the nurse brought Derek into the NICU and introduced him to baby girl Shepherd. Derek felt embarrassed that he had no idea what name Addie had picked out for her. He looked at the baby carefully, examining every visible inch. Even though she was attached to monitors and machines, she was beautiful. She was small, but Derek had seen many babies that were much smaller. He had often visited the NICU while Addison was working, and she had some patients that barely weighed a pound. Three pounds could be a healthy baby, he knew.

"You can touch her," advised the nurse.

Derek to the baby, "Daddy's here, sweetheart," and he put his hand gently on her arms. "Wake up, beautiful."

The baby stirred and opened her beautiful blue eyes. She stared at Derek, and he felt himself falling in love with her. He had always known he wanted to be a father. He had known that it didn't make sense for Addie to have a baby until she was done with her fellowship. He had been disappointed when, after starting her ob/gyn fellowship, she told him that she would be doing a second fellowship in prenatal medicine. She had kept putting off having children until, well, Mark happened, and Derek no longer wanted her to be the mother of his children. But he had long dreamed of a little girl with red hair being his daughter.

He worried if he was being unfaithful in some way to Meredith by loving Addie's daughter. Their relationship was so knew that they'd never even discussed having children, and Derek knew that, as an intern, Meredith should wait for years to have children. So a little girl or boy with dirty blonde hair would have to wait. And Derek remembered that his mother always taught him that loving another child does not in any way reduce the love available for other children. Derek had been so upset when she had told him she was pregnant for the fifth time. He had been afraid his mother would love him less. She had explained that she had enough love for all her children, and that, with the new baby, she would just have more love and that Derek would also have more love because he would love the new baby, too. And he did adore Amy, at least until she stole his prescription pad and crashed his car. Oh, that was unworthy, he thought. He knew he loved Amy unconditionally, just as he loved this baby.

Derek was ready to be a dad, and this little girl needed one badly. Her biological dad was dead, and her mom was injured. Derek didn't know when Addison would even be able to visit the NICU. So he was glad that Meredith had insisted he get a Polaroid camera, and he took the camera out and took several pictures of the baby to show Addie when he got to her room.

Derek had been amazed by Meredith's reaction to his informing her about Addie and the baby. She had every right to be furious with him for keeping his wife secret from him, but so far she had just told him that she had to wait to be mad until Addie was better and that she would do everything she could to help him. He had assured her that he was definitely going to be divorcing Addie, but she had urged him to wait to make sure that Addie's medical needs were taken care of and that Addie was well into recovery before filing for divorce. And she had volunteered to help him. She was a good person, and he hoped that he wouldn't wind up hurting her.

The nurse returned. "I spoke with your wife's doctor, and she's still unconscious. They hope to start waking her in another hour, so you have some time to spend with your baby. If you want, you can do kangaroo care?"

"Kangaroo care?" Derek tried to remember what he had heard about kangaroo care, but his mind drew a blank.

"Oh, I know your wife is an ob-gyn, so I thought you knew. Skin-to-skin contact. You can sit in the rocking chair here, and take off your shirt, and we can put the baby against your skin."

"That sounds great."

"You know how to watch out for monitors, right?"

"Sure."

"So please sit down in that rocking chair, and I'll bring the baby over."

Derek sat down and took off his flannel shirt and his undershirt, as directed by the nurse, and she put the baby on his chest, naked except for a diaper, and having several wires connecting her to monitors.

"This feels wonderful, thank you." Derek enjoyed the warm of the baby against his skin. He could feel her heart beating, and he felt enormous love for her. He stayed like that, with his arm holding her in place and muttering, "I love you, sweetheart" to hear over and over again for almost an hour.

Then he heard a voice he recognized say, "Derek, what the hell are you doing? Don't you know that's Mark Sloan's baby?"


	4. Chapter 4

_Then he heard a voice he recognized say, "Derek, what the hell are you doing? Don't you know that's Mark Sloan's baby?"_

"Jim, what are you doing here?" Derek asked, looking at his old medical school classmate. He immediately realized that he'd never be able to play the role of devoted husband with Jim.

"I'm Addie's doctor. I delivered her baby."

Derek was relieved to know Jim was Addie's doctor. He knew that he didn't need to worry about Addison's care being affected by him being a bad husband; Addison would get the best of care possible at Southampton Hospital even if the staff thought he was a complete jerk. Jim was a dedicated doctor who had really bonded with Addison because of their mutual interest in women's health. Jim could be trusted to make sure that Addison got the best care possible

"I thought you were working at NYU."

"I was until four months ago. An East Hampton medical group made me an offer I couldn't refuse. My wife is pregnant with our third child, and she wanted a house. For what we got for our two-bedroom apartment in Battery Park, we got a five- bedroom house with a pool in East Quogue. So we love it here."

"Congratulations, both on the new job and your expanding family."

"Thanks. So what are you doing here, Derek?"

"You want my honest answer?"

"Sure."

"Because a cop called and told me to come, and my girlfriend agreed."

"Your girlfriend agreed you should come help your wife who just had a baby by another man? That's beyond bizarre."

Derek chuckled. "You don't know Meredith. She is amazing. Her heart went out to the poor fatherless baby. She said the baby needed a father, and, after all, I must be her legal father because Addie and I are still married. My fault, really. I never opened all the envelopes with divorce papers that Addie sent me."

"So you're here for the baby."

"Well, our marriage might be over, but I spent more than eleven years with Addie. I'm here as her friend, really. Her parents can't be bothered, and Mark is dead. So who else is there?"

"Aren't you mad at her for sleeping with Mark? The story is that you walked in on them making love in your marital bed."

"How did that story get around?" Derek was shocked that the story had made it all the way to Southampton. He found it embarrassing and even humiliating to think how many people knew his best friend slept with his wife.

"You know that Mark couldn't keep his mouth shut about great gossip. And when you left for Seattle, everyone wanted to know what led you to leave Addie. Everyone thought you guys were the perfect couple, two hot shot doctors in love."

"That's so Mark. I can't imagine Addie would have talked about it. Anyway, it's hard to be mad at either of them now."

"I can see how Mark being dead can throw a kink in being mad at him. But you should know that Mark's story was one of true love. As I heard it, he said he loved Addie from the moment he met her, but he tried to stay away because of his friendship with you. And that he was very unhappy that he hurt you so much. And he hoped that some day you would be friends again after you found your own true love."

Derek thought for a moment. It was true that he wouldn't have Meredith if it hadn't have been for Mark. But that didn't justify Mark's betrayal of him.

"Well, unfortunately that's not going to happen." Derek looked at the baby. "But when my eldest sister, Kathy, had her first baby, we promised each other that we'd be godparents for each other's children. So I will look out for Mark's daughter." 

"It's a shame that he's missing so much."

"Yeah. He was always a great uncle to my sisters' kids. It's not just that he's missing out on her, but that she's missing out on him."

"That's for sure."

"So how is Addison?"

"That's why I came here looking for you. We're taking her off sedation, so she should wake up in the next hour or so. I had to remove her spleen when I did the emergency C, but otherwise she looks pretty good, in terms of her pregnancy care. Any future pregnancies would have to be very carefully monitored because of the risks. An emergency C increases the risk of placenta accreta. Also, we wanted to wait and see a bit before doing any spinal surgery. Right now, it looks like she has an incomplete spinal injury."

"I'd like to see the scans."

"Derek, you can't be her doctor."

"I know that. I just want to see the scans. I'm her husband, and she's unconscious. I'm able to see her medical information. And I can evaluate her scans to help me help her with deciding how to proceed. I'm sure she'll be interested in my recommendations. She may think I was a lousy husband, but I know she thought highly of my medical skills."

"I get that. My wife always wants my opinion about pregnancy. And I always look at all the medical records for each of my wife's pregnancies, even if I'm not her doctor."

"Right. So when can I look at them?"

"You can hang out with the baby for another half an hour and then meet me in the doctor's lounge. It's room 526. And so far, Marla Wood has been the neurosurgeon. She'll be here later today, if you want to consult with her."

"Okay. I'll take a look at the scans." Derek didn't know much Marla Wood, but he vowed he'd make sure that if Addie needed surgery, she'd get the best.

"And Derek, I know moms, and Addie may be upset to learn that you've gotten to hold the baby before she had a chance to even see the baby."

"I don't think so. She always told me that it is important for a baby to be held as much as possible as soon as possible, and she can't."

"Do you think she's going to want to you play dad to Mark's baby?"

"I am the baby's legal dad, Jim. And Addison knows that babies need as much love as possible. But we'll just have to see. I'll need to talk with her."

"Good luck, Derek. I'm glad you came."

"Thanks, Jim, for taking such good care of Addie and the baby."

"I was glad to help. I was really upset we couldn't save Mark."

"Me, too. He should be here for this."

"That's for sure. See you later."

"Will do."

Derek kissed the top of the baby's head and started murmuring to her. "I guess I'm going to have to look at your mom's scans. I hope they're okay. But don't worry, your mommy's going to get the best medical care, and, no matter what, I'll always be there to help you. I promise."


	5. Chapter 5

A half hour later, after kissing the baby good-bye, reluctantly putting her back in the incubator and donning his clothes again, Derek went up to Room 526. He was walked into the lounge and immediately saw Jim, who was waiting for him. He noted that the lounge was large and painted a light blue, with several sofas as well as half dozen tables with several chairs each.

"Well, Jim, this is a beautiful lounge."

"Thanks, Derek. This hospital is a great place to work. I have Addie's scans here." He handed Derek a folder with more than half a dozen scans.

"Thanks, Jim. I appreciate this." Derek looked quickly at the scans. "It's great that they did the spiral CT as well the MRI and X-rays."

"This hospital has all the state-of-the-art equipment. We had to wait to do the scans until I delivered the baby. Addison had a placental abruption due to the car accident, and we had to prioritize saving her life and the life of her baby. It was touch and go, so we're lucky they're both alive and doing as well as they are."

"Absolutely. That would have been my recommendation as well." Derek was horrified that Addison and the baby had been in such danger. And he wished he knew the baby's name. He hoped Addison would be conscious later today and tell him the baby's name.

Derek paged through the scans. He decided he needed to ignore the "A. Shepard" at the bottom of the scans and pretend they belonged to a stranger. But it was hard for him not to think of Addison's back, that he knew so well even if he hadn't seen her for months. But he tried to put her out of his mind and think of her as an ordinary patient. He first looked at the cervical vertebrae. "The cervical vertebrae seem to be intact. That's wonderful." He was relieved that Addison had been spared the most serious of spinal injuries. "But here is burst fracture to the thoracic vertebrae, at T6 and T7. She's going to need surgery to address this as soon as possible. When do you think she can undergo surgery again?" Derek was alarmed that, as he had suspected from the description of the accident and her condition, Addison had suffered a serious spinal injury, one that could leave her with a significant disability, possibly paraplegia.

"I'd like to see her wait another 24 hours, at least. A C is major abdominal surge, and she also had a splenectomy. And Derek, you know that with spinal injuries, an examination is key. A lot of times, the patients do better than you might think from seeing the scans."

"Was there any neurological assessment done at admission?"

"Not much because we had to focus on the pregnancy. And it was lot easier to do the scans once the baby was born. But it's hard to do a neurological exam when the patient is unconscious."

"I know. And I would like to have her transferred for the surgery to Mount Sinai and have Dr. Kim do the surgery, if possible. I'm going to call him right now." Derek took his cell phone out and dialed. He was disappointed to find that Dr. Kim was not available, probably in surgery, so he called his secretary. "Hi Nadine, is Dave around?" Derek was disappointed to find that Dave Kim was at a conference in Miami for the next week. He then called Andrea Fowler, and she was also not available. He again spoke to the nurse, and this time he was delighted to learn that she was in town. "Have her call Derek Shepherd immediately. Please tell her that I have a family emergency and need her help."

Derek turned to Jim. "Andrea volunteered as a trauma surgeon in Iraq for two years and had tremendous experience with back surgeries there. She's written a couple of papers on MVAs and thoracic injuries. I think she's be terrific for Addison."

"It's Addie's call, Derek, and I'm sure she'll listen to you. Marla is very good, but she's not as experienced as Andrea, I'm sure. I know you want the best for Addie."

"I do."

"What about the baby if you move Addie? The baby is probably going to need to be hospitalized for a month, maybe six weeks."

"Really that long? Don't they usually gain a half pound a week and get discharged at four pounds or so?"

"She's moderately premature, at best. She's pretty much on the line between very premature and moderately premature. But she can breathe on her own, which is great. Gaining weight is tougher when they are that small. And we have to make sure she meets certain milestones before she can leave the hospital."

"I'd want the baby transferred to Mount Sinai, too, so she could be near her mom."

"We'll have to check with Mount Sinai."

"It shouldn't be a problem. Addie's been there as an intern, a resident, and an attending, for more than eleven years. I'm sure they'll do it for her."

"Do you think Addie's going to want to be a patient there? Sometimes it's tough being a patient at the same place you work."

"I'm just looking for the best doctor for her injury. I think she'll agree with me, but we'll have to see. We should wait for the transfer plans until I've had a chance to confer with Addie."

"You're probably right about that. And what are your plans? I saw you doing the kangaroo care. It would be great if you could do that for at least a few hours every day."

"Richard Webber, Chief at Seattle Grace, was our attending when we were interns. He adores Addie. I'm sure I can get whatever leave I need. But I might wind up transferring them to Seattle at some point, but we'll have to see what Addie thinks."

"You should go see Addie now. She may be becoming conscious soon."

Derek looked at Jim. "So do you expect me to be the one to tell her that Mark's dead and that she has a potentially life-altering spinal injury?"

"No, Derek. You don't have to give her the bad news. That's my job and Marla's. Page me when she wakes up, and I'll come as soon as I can, and I'll page Marla."

Derek frowned. He knew that "as soon as I can" could be a long time, or at least what would seem like a long time to Addie. And he knew she would want answers immediately, and that she could probably still read the answers from his facial expressions and body language. "I know you'll do the best you can, Jim, but it would be great if you could get there as fast as you can. Addie's going to want the truth as soon as possible."

"I know."

Derek went to Addie's hospital room. He had been dreading this moment since he first decided to come to the hospital. He hadn't seen her since he had left her in fury, right after catching her in bed with Mark. But as he walked into her hospital room and saw her lying in the hospital bed, sleeping, with bandages on many of her body parts, his heart ached for her. She should still be preparing for the birth of her baby, and she should have been able to go full term, delivering a healthy full-term baby, and have her partner with her to raise the baby. And now she was facing her own serious health problems, grief over a dead partner, and a premature baby who needs weeks of hospitalization in NICU. He might have been furious with her, but h never wished tragedy on her.

Derek moved a chair so it was beside Addie and started thinking. In Seattle, he had just wanted to ignore the fact that he was married and enjoy being Meredith's boyfriend. They had had more than six wonderful months together. He had had to chase Meredith, and it was understandable that she was reluctant to have a serious romantic relationship with her Chief of Neurosurgery, but she had given in to their attraction to each other. And now he had to figure out what his responsibility was to his wife and her adulterous love child when both needed significant medical care for weeks, if not months. He had fallen in love with the baby already and wanted to father her, but he wondered whether Addie would agree. Or would she break his heart again?

Suddenly, he saw Addie start to stir her head. He went to grab her hand and hold it. "Addie," he muttered, "I'm here."

She opened her eyes and looked at him. "Derek, what the hell are you doing here?"


	6. Chapter 6

_She opened her eyes and looked at him. "Derek, what the hell are you doing here?"_

Derek smiled at her words, so identical to Jim's. "Well, at least you haven't lost your memory, Addie. The police called me and asked me to come here because you were in a bad car accident." Derek took his phone out and paged Jim.

"Why did they call you?"

"I'm still your husband." Derek decided to move on to the good news. "You have a beautiful daughter, Addie." He deliberately chose the pronoun "you," because he wanted to keep everything simple now. He saw that, although she was speechless, she was moving her hand to her abdominal area, where her baby bump had been. It seemed like she couldn't believe his words but had to check for herself.

Once she confirmed she was no longer pregnant, Addie protested, "No, Derek, it's too soon. She's too little."

"They needed to deliver her because of the accident. You had a placental abruption; you know there's no choice in that kind of situation. They needed to save your life and hers. But she's doing well. I've seen her. I took some photos; let's look at them together." He pulled out the photos and moved closer and started to show her the photos. Addie took the first one and stared at it.

"See, she has red hair just like you. I think she's a mini-Addison. She's really beautiful."

Addie looked through all the photos. "She's so small."

"She's over three pounds, Addie, and she's thirty weeks. She's really only moderately premature. You've saved many much smaller babies."

"Derek, she can still be very premature because she's not yet thirty-one weeks. And how much did she weigh?"

"Over three pounds. She's in the NICU, but she's doing well. You've had good outcomes with much smaller babies." Derek then decided to ask the question that bothered him the most. "What's her name?"

"Ella."

"That's beautiful."

"Mark chose it. She's Mark's daughter, Derek."

"I know, Addie. I can count." He alluded to the last time they made love.

"Where's Mark, Derek?" Addison stared at him, expecting an immediate answer.

Derek had been dreading this question, so rather than answer, he looked at the door, hoping that Jim would be coming soon to spare him from having to respond, but so far he had not yet made an appearance.

"Derek," Addie called for his attention, and Derek gave it to her. Their eyes met briefly, but Addie soon pulled away.

"No," she shouted, "Mark can't be dead." She started sobbing.

Derek saw grasped Addison's hand again, and he continued to stroke it. He was afraid to hug her, given her spinal injury. He didn't want to worsen the fracture. "I'm so sorry, Addie," he murmured to her.

She pulled her hand away from him. Still crying, she yelled at him, "Why are you really here, Derek? Are you here to gloat? Do you think this is divine retribution for what we did to you?"

"Addie, no, don't be ridiculous," Derek said, appalled at her statement. "I know I was furious the last time I saw you, and I threw some of your dresses outside in the rain, but I never wanted you or Mark to be harmed. Not at all. I always thought I'd have time to make peace with Mark. We were brothers since we were in kindergarten, for more than thirty years. My heart is broken, too, Addie." Derek felt his tears falling on his cheeks. "It's so sad."

"Ella will never meet Mark."

"I know."

"And I'll never marry Mark. We were supposed to get married, but first you had to sign the divorce papers, Derek. Why didn't you sign them?" Addie continued sobbing.

"I'm sorry, Addie. I thought there was plenty of time."

"No, Mark is dead, and now we'll never be married. Never."

"I'm sorry."

"Are you really sorry?"

"Yes."

"Did you come here to win me back?"

Derek immediately answered, "No. I know loved Mark. Anyway, I'm seeing someone myself."

"Does she know you're with me now?"

"Yes, she told me to come when the police called."

"Really? Why would she do that?"

"Because she is very nice." Derek decided not to add that Meredith's principal motivation was her compassion for Addie's fatherless daughter.

"Mark and I didn't want to hurt you, Derek. We just loved each other."

Well, Derek thought, at least if they loved each other, they destroyed his marriage and his friendship with Mark for a reason. But right now was not the time to get into a discussion of Addie's adultery. "I'm sorry Mark died."

"Yeah, me too." Addie continued sobbing.

"Hi Addie and Derek," said Jim as he walked into the room. "I'm sorry it took me so long to get here, but I was with a patient."

"We understand, Jim. It's happened to both of us," responded Derek. He was relieved that at least Jim would get to tell Addie about her own health problems.

Jim realized immediately that Addie knew of Mark's death. "I'm so sorry about Mark, Addie. There was nothing we could do. He was pronounced dead at the scene of the accident."

Addie continued to sob.

"I was your doctor, Addie. You had a placental abruption due to the car accident, so we had to deliver the baby with an emergency C. And I was able to avoid doing a hysterectomy although I did have to remove your spleen. The baby was 3 pounds 4 ounces, and her Apgar scores were 8 and 9. She hasn't needed to be intubated; she's been breathing with a nasal cannula, and we think we'll be able to take her off that in a day or two. She's a little young, but I think she can be considered moderately premature. She looks really good."

"Derek showed me photos. She's so small," Addie responded. "When can I see her?"

"Well, what would you tell your patient?"

Addie made a face. "You know what I'd say. As soon as you can sit in a wheelchair, so you can be brought to the NICU. The baby has to stay in the NICU, but, if I can leave here, I can see her. So when can I go?"

Jim realized that Derek hadn't yet told Addie of her own injuries. "Addie, unfortunately, the placental abruption was not your only significant injury. You also suffered a spinal injury, and you're going to need surgery. You can't transfer to a wheelchair until after the surgery. We don't want to damage your spine further. But you might be able to see the baby before then. Derek's recommended that you transfer to Mount Sinai, so you and the baby would go in the ambulance together. You'd see her then."

"Derek?" Addie asked, looking at him. "Derek, I can't feel my toes. How come I didn't realize this before? Am I paralyzed?"

Derek met her gaze. "Addie, I can't be your doctor. And it will probably be a while before we know the extent of your injury. I did take a look at your scans, and it is a serious spinal injury. You have a burst fracture at T6 and T7, but it may be remedied by surgery. You may well make a full recovery. I told Jim that I think it would be best if you had the surgery at Mount Sinai. Dave Kim is not available, but Andrea Fowler may be able to help. She has a lot of experience with injuries like this."

"I know Andrea, Derek."

"And what do you think of her?"

"She's a terrific surgeon. She definitely tells it like it is. Have you heard from her?"

"She texted me and told me that she'll be calling tonight. She was just going in to a long surgery. But she didn't say she wouldn't be available."

"So when would we be transferred?"

"Sunday. She'll probably schedule the surgery for Monday if she could."

"Our surgeon will be here in a few minutes to do a neuro check and explain your options," added Jim.

"So I can't see Ella until Sunday?"

"I think that's right," responded Jim.

"She should be having kangaroo care with her parents, but Mark is dead and I can't move."

"She's already started," noted Jim. "Derek volunteered."

"Derek?"

"Yes."

"How come you didn't show me a photo of that?"

"I"ll make sure you get a photo," answered Jim. "Derek looked adorable with the baby on his naked chest."

"His hair is long now. It's very Russell Crowe. You know I like Russell Crowe."

"I know you like my hair long, Addie, but I didn't do this for you."

"For your girlfriend?"

"For me, Addie, for me."

Addie turned to Jim, "He's always been great with the nieces and nephews."

"And so have you, Addie," added Derek.

"And Mark, too."

"Yes, and Mark."

"He should be here to help me and Ella," said Addie, starting to sob again.

Finally, the neurosurgeon appeared. "Good afternoon, Dr. Shepherd. I'm Marla Wood, and I'm your neurosurgeon. You had a serious spinal injury, a burst fracture at T-6, T-7. We need to have surgery shortly to get in and repair the injury."

"Am I paralyzed? I can't feel my toes."

"I have to do an exam now. That will help me see the extent of your injuries. I'm going to start by telling you three words to memorize: cat, boat, shoe. Did you get the three words?"

"Yes, cat, boat, and shoe."

"Okay. Do you know where you are?"

"Southampton Hospital."

"Do you know the man seated beside you?"

"My husband, Dr. Derek Shepherd."

"What year is it?"

"2007."

"Who is President?"

"George W. Bush."

"Do you know why you are in the hospital?"

"I was in a car accident."

"Okay. Now let me examine you." The doctor quickly and thoroughly examined Addison's vision and her nerves in her arms and her hands. Derek had already observed that Addison's nerves in her arms and hands were intact. Then she moved onto examining her trunk. "I see that your scar from the C-section is healing nicely. Jim did a great job. Congratulations on your new baby."

"I wish I could see her."

"You will see her soon." Dr. Wood then commented, "I always find having a catheter annoying."

"Me, too," responded Addison. "I can't wait until they can take it out. It's really pinching me."

Derek smiled as he realized that Dr. Wood had gotten Addison to admit that she had some feeling in her bladder. He was pleased with her examination; she was being comprehensive and also careful to keep Addison engaged. He was also pleased to see that Addison had some sensation in her legs although he was disappointed that there was none below her knees.

"Okay, Addison, what were the three words I gave you at the start of the examination?"

"Cat, boat, shoe."

"Good. Your memory seems to be intact. You don't seem to have suffered a head injury of any kind, which is great. You do have some signs of paralysis, particularly below the knees, but that may just be temporary, until after you have the surgery. So right now, there's nothing to worry about."

"Doctor Wood, you don't really mean that. I was in a terrible accident that killed the father of my daughter and resulted in me giving birth more than two months early to a premature baby, and I can't even see her now because I have some kind of spinal injury although how we don't yet know how bad the injury is. I might be paralyzed, but we're not going to know until after the surgery."

"Addison, you need to focus on the good news. You're alive, and your daughter is alive, too. You both have a very good prognosis, and neither of you have life-threatening conditions."

"I know that, and I'm grateful for the great medical care we've gotten. But I can't avoid worrying, particularly when I can't even see my baby."

"We're going to do our best to get you and your baby together as soon as possible," responded Dr. Wood.

Derek could see that Addison was biting her tongue to avoid responding. "I'll bring you photos every day."

"Before you leave the hospital today, bring me one of you holding the baby," asked Addison.

"I'll do that."

"Any questions for me?" asked Dr. Wood.

"When would you do the surgery if we did it here?" asked Addie.

"I'd like to do it Monday, if that's okay with Jim."

Jim nodded and said, "Monday should be fine."

Derek added, "We may try to do it at Mount Sinai, but we'll let you know. We definitely want to do it Monday if at all possible."

"That's fine," responded Dr. Wood.

Derek was pleased that she didn't challenge his recommendation to go to Mount Sinai.

"Thank you very much, doctors, but I think I'm ready for a nap."

"I'll come by tomorrow, Addie," said Jim. "Good-bye for now."

"I'll also come by for rounds tomorrow," added Dr. Wood.

"That's good," answered Addie.

After the two doctors left the room, Addie turned to Derek and said, "Now it's your turn to leave. Go hang out with my daughter. I want to sleep."

"Okay. I'll stop by before I leave with the photos."

"Good. And you can stay at the Hamptons house. I put all your stuff in the guest room. Make yourself at home."

"Thank you. It was very kind of you not to throw it all out, considering I dumped so many of your dresses on the city sidewalk in the rain."

"I can be quite nice, Derek. And thank you so much for coming."

"I'm sorry that you had this awful accident. I'm glad I have the time to spend with you and Ella. By the way, I contacted your family, and Archer may be coming tomorrow."

"That's great. He is a good brother."

"Yes, he loves you very much." Derek knew that to be true. He didn't mention the fact that Archer hated him, but he also knew that Addie was well aware of the antipathy between her husband and her brother. "I'll come by before I leave."

But when Derek returned later, having spent an hour holding the baby kangaroo style, Addie was asleep. He left the three Polaroid photos that the nurse had taken on her night table.


	7. Chapter 7

It was nice that Addie had offered him the Hampton house, but Derek just couldn't imagine going there tonight. First, it had been his and Addie's house for more than eight years, and seeing it as Mark and Addie's house would undoubtedly be painful. Mark had often been a guest, and he had slept in the guest room, so seeing Mark's stuff all over the master bedroom and staying in the guest room himself would be excruciating. Just thinking about it hurt. And, second, Addie and Mark had left the house yesterday, thinking they'd return that night, so the house would be full of reminders of their ordinary life together and maybe even their plans for their new family – perhaps a copy of What to Expect When You're Expecting on the coffee table and, if he knew Addie, lists upon lists of what they needed for the baby. Or maybe they already had turned the study into a nursery. Derek and Addie had first talked about using the study that way when they first looked at the house.

Yet, Derek also couldn't bear the thought of spending the night in a hotel. So he found himself travelling a familiar route. He knocked at the door, and, when the door opened, he heard "Uncle Derek," as his twelve-year old niece Abby launched into his arms. And within seconds, he was surrounded with Lizzie's kids, from two-year-old Mikey to fifteen-year-old Ben, and they were all hugging him and kissing him and shouting "Uncle Derek." He felt surrounded by love.

His sister Lizzie immediately appeared. "Derek, what are you doing here? I thought you were in Seattle."

He met her eyes, but he said nothing. He just couldn't ruin this moment with the kids with the truth that had so dramatically changed his life in the last 24 hours.

"Have you eaten?"

Lizzie was a great hostess, and Derek realized he was famished. "Not recently. I'm starving." He hadn't eaten anything since breakfast was served on the plane.

"Well, we finished dinner some time ago, but we have some leftover pizza that I could reheat."

"Anything would be great, Lizzie."

"Okay. Come in the kitchen with me. Kids, I need some time alone with Uncle Derek."

"Mommy, we haven't seen him in months," said Abby.

"I know. Neither have I."

"Can he read us our bedtime stories?" asked six-year old Sam.

"Lizzie, I'll read them bedtime stories now. Dinner can wait."

"But you're starving."

"I can hold out for a little bit."

"Come with me, Uncle Derek," said Sammy. And Derek followed and wound up in Sammy's room with all the kids, and he spent the next half hour reading one Dr. Seuss book after another. Then his brother-in-law bill showed up to put the younger kids to bed, and Derek put Sammy to bed.

After giving Sammy a goodnight kiss, Derek went into the kitchen to get his dinner. He found his sister waiting for him. "So can you tell me what's up now?"

Derek answered, "I'd rather wait until after dinner."

"You're scaring me, Derek."

"Please Lizzie, just a few more minutes, and I'll tell you everything."

"Do you want something to drink?"

"I'll have some Scotch after dinner. Right now, water is enough." Derek ate his pizza and thought of Meredith. She could eat pizza for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and she sometimes did. He had tried to reach her after leaving the hospital, but she hadn't answered her phone; perhaps she was in surgery. He had sent her a text with a photo of Ella and thanks for recommending he buy a Polaroid camera. Derek soon finished his third slice of pizza. He had been famished.

Lizzie carefully watched him eat, and, as soon as he had finished the last bit of pizza, she said, "Okay, Derek, now it's time for you to tell me what you are doing here. Last I heard, you were working in Seattle and, according to Nancy, living in a trailer and sleeping with an intern."

"Nancy got some of it right. I'm Chief of Neurosurgery at Seattle Grace, and Meredith is not just an intern; she's the woman I love. And I live in a trailer except when I'm staying at her home."

"So what brought you here?"

Derek looked at Liz. She was in the "before," before she learned the news that Derek really didn't want to share. He thought of the many times she had traipsed after Mark. She had loved to climb into their tree house when the two boys were hanging out together. They had always let her spend a few minutes with them before they sent her back to the house. She had worshipped Mark for years, at least until she saw him flirting with college roommate on a visit home. And she and Addie were great friends, or maybe even still are. Derek had been afraid to probe to see if sisterly loyalty had led his sisters to abandon Mark and Addie as friends when Derek walked out on his marriage after he found Addie and Mark in bed together.

He realized that he had to tell Lizzie the truth. "I got a call last night from the Southampton police. There had been a car accident."

"So why did they call you?"

"Addie was injured. We're still married, so I'm her emergency contact, I guess. So they thought I should come."

"So how is Addie doing?"

"Not well. Mark was driving, and he was killed immediately, so she's distraught."

"Mark's dead?"

"Yeah."

Liz started to cry.

"And Addie herself was injured; she may be paralyzed."

"That's terrible."

"And Addie was pregnant and suffered a placental abruption so they had to deliver the baby at 30 weeks. She's stable, but she's in the NICU, just over 3 pounds. Ella's Mark's daughter biologically."

"So the poor baby is fatherless now."

"Not exactly. Because Addie and I are still married, I'm probably the baby's legal father."

"Derek, do you think you can love this baby the way she deserves to be loved if she's Mark's daughter?"

"Yes. She's done nothing wrong. Here's a photo." He gave her a photo of the baby in an incubator. "She looks like Addie, I think. She has her red hair, at least."

Lizzie examined the photo carefully. "I see that. Isn't the fact that she's Mark's daughter going to be a constant reminder of Addie's infidelity?"

"I've accepted that my marriage is over. I know Mark loved Addie, and Addie loved Mark. I have a new life with Meredith, and it's not Ella's fault that Mark is her dad. And, anyway, I had promised Mark that I'd be his children's godfather. So I promised to raise his children if he died. So I'm living up to my commitment."

"Raising a child is a big commitment. I know. I have five. You're turning your life upside down in under 24 hours."

"If my life is upside down, what about Addie?"

"I thought you thought she was an adulterous bitch."

"Yes, but I feel terrible for her now. You know she asked me if the accident was divine retribution, and I told her she was being ridiculous. I would never be that cruel. Right now, the priority is Addie's health. She needs spinal surgery. I've recommended that she Addie's transfer to Mount Sinai on Sunday, and she'll probably have surgery on Tuesday. I spoke to Andrea Fowler while I was on my way here. She's going to want to take her own scans on Monday before she operates. Ella will also go to Mount Sinai, so the two will be in the same hospital."

"You can stay here, if you want."

"I'd love to stay here until Sunday. Then I'll go to NY with Addie and Ella."

"The kids are so happy to see you. But we're going to have to tell them about Mark and Addie and their new cousin."

"Can it wait?"

"The younger kids are in bed, so we'll tell them tomorrow. But I'm going to have to tell Abby and Ben tonight. Otherwise, they'll get mad that we hid info from them."

"Okay."

"And we need to call Mom. She can tell the sisters, but Mom needs to know."

"I know. I feel like I've been delivering bad news all day. First, I had to tell Addie's family, and then I was with Addie when she learned the news. And now I had to tell you."

"But at least the baby is doing okay."

"Yeah, but the doctor thinks she'll be in the hospital six weeks or so."

"That's not so bad. She's going to be okay."

"I hope so."


	8. Chapter 8

Derek decided to start his day at the hospital by visiting Addison. Dr. Wood had mentioned that she would be doing her rounds at 10 a.m., and he wanted to be with Addie for the rounds. He went straight to Addie's room and was shocked when he walked in to see that she was using a machine on her right breast. "Sorry, I'll come back later."

"Derek, don't leave," Addie responded. "There's nothing you haven't seen. You've seen my breasts many times, after all. I'm just pumping some milk for Ella."

"I've never seen you pumping your breasts," Derek said with a laugh.

"You have seen Nancy, Kathy, and Liz all breastfeeding. It's the same thing."

"It's different," explained Derek. "Usually all I see is the baby's head." Then he realized what he'd said and wished he had bitten his tongue. He knew Addie would have loved to be breastfeeding Ella rather than pumping milk.

"Derek, please," Addie pleaded. "I'd really like your company. This is not what having Ella was supposed to be. Mark was supposed to be here with me, and Ella was supposed to be rooming in with me, not in the NICU. I was supposed to be breastfeeding her, not pumping milk like a cow alone in a hospital room."

Derek felt bad about his comments; he regretted highlighting the fact that Ella was unable to breastfeed and in the NICU. "I know, Addie. If you want me to keep you company while you pump, I will. And you're being a great mom."

"Are you worried what your girlfriend will think of you seeing my breast?"

"That hadn't even occurred to me," responded Derek. And for a moment, Derek did think about how Meredith might feel about Derek seeing Addie's breasts in this situation. "But she knows how important it is for Ella to get your breastmilk, so I'm sure it would be fine with her. And if not, it's her problem and not yours."

"Your intern sounds great."

"She is. You'll like her when you meet her."

"You think I'm going to meet her?"

"She's planning on coming to New York this week-end, so you might meet her then."

"How long are you staying, Derek? Don't you have a job?"

"Richard loves you. He said I can stay as long as I need to. But right now, I'm just taking it a week at a time. So I'm staying for at least a week, maybe more."

"Derek, you're being great, but it's not like we're really married."

"We are really married, Addie. Don't you remember the ceremony?" he teased.

"But I love Mark, Derek. And I mailed you divorce papers."

Derek noticed that Addie used current tense, love, but he ignored it. "I know, but neither of us has filed for divorce, so we're still married. And I'm here to help you and Ella. I know you wanted to get divorced, and we'll get divorced at some point, but for now, we're married, and I'm here to help you."

"You're being nicer than I deserve." Addie looked at him. "I enjoyed seeing the photos of you and Ella from yesterday. You look really cute with a baby on your chest."

"Thanks. She looks just like you, I think. She's beautiful. I told her some stories about Mark and also about you."

"What kind of stories?"

"How I met Mark in kindergarten. How he loved the Yankees. How you like ice skating in Central Park. How you hate spiders. Just some little things."

Addie changed the topic. "Did Dr. Wood talk to you after she did my exam?"

"No. But I heard her tell you she's doing rounds today at 10. So I'll be here then."

"But you're a neurosurgeon. You saw her exam. What do you think? Am I going to be paralyzed?"

Ever since he had gotten the call that told him Addie had a spinal injury, Derek regretted being a neurosurgeon. It would be so much easier for him if he could know nothing more about the injury than what the doctors told him. And now Addie was pressing him to share what he knows. "Addie, our marriage got into bad shape because we didn't communicate well. We now have an emergency, really at least three emergencies really, you, Ella, and Mark's death. We're going to need to do much better at communicating. And we're going to have to promise tell each other the truth always. No more being Queen or King of Passive Agressiva. Just the truth, including the truth about how we feel. So I'm going to start by telling the truth."

"Good, Derek, I want the truth."

"You may want me to tell you the truth, Addie, but the truth sucks. You have a burst spinal fracture, and the doctor's exam yesterday indicated that you have at least some problem with paralysis. Right now, it looks to me like an incomplete spinal injury. As you know, incomplete injuries are tough because there's a lot we don't know. You may recover much of your abilities or you may have permanent paralysis; only time will tell. Now I think going to Mount Sinai and having Dr. Fowler do the surgery will give you the best chance for recovery, but I have no idea at all how much paralysis will be permanent."

"That totally sucks."

"I know."

"When will I be able to go home?"

"We won't know that until after the surgery. And you may need to do rehab. In-patient is more intensive, so that is what I would usually recommend."

"But what about Ella? I want to bond with my baby. It's so frustrating that I can't visit the NICU."

"Jim said she'll probably need to stay in the hospital for six weeks, so we have some time to figure things out. And I'm here to help. And it's not just me who wants to help. My whole family wants to help."

"Don't they all hate me for what I did to you?"

"Nobody hates you. And we're all devastated that Mark died, but it's good that he left you with his little girl. We want to help."

"And what about my family?"

"Archer is coming this afternoon to visit. And I spoke to your dad and Susan yesterday. Your parents are planning on visiting."

"When?"

"All I know is Archer is coming some time after 1 p.m. He had to do rounds himself this morning."

"I'm sure he'll enjoy meeting his niece."

"Addie, I know that you're upset that Ella's in the NICU. Liz had a suggestion. She gave me a tape recorder and some children's books." Derek showed her a bag. "She thought that we could tape you reading a couple of books and then play them to Ella. I'm sure she's missing hearing your voice."

"What a sweet idea, Derek. What books did she give you?"

Derek opened the bag and read the title of each of the three books aloud, "Barnyard Dance by Sandra Boynton. Madeleine. The Cat in the Hat."

"I'll start with Barnyard Dance. I always loved Sandra Boynton. I'll read the book a few times myself before taping it."

"Sounds like a plan."

"How about I read it to you? That would be one way of passing the time waiting for Dr. Wood to show up."

"Sounds like a plan."

Addie began reading the book, trying different voices for different characters. Derek found himself laughing and enjoying the stories. Addie had finished reading all three books at least twice by the time Dr. Wood came for rounds. Sadly, Derek's analysis was the same as Dr. Wood's; Addison's spinal injury was incomplete and only time would tell if the paralysis would be permanent or temporary. After the rounds, Addie sent Derek up to the NICU to spend time providing kangaroo care to Ella.

.


	9. Chapter 9

"Ella, your Uncle Archer is going to be coming in a few minutes, so I'm going to give you a kiss and say good-bye for now. I'll be back later this afternoon. I think I should be with your mom when he comes. He will love you, I'm sure. He loves girls. And he loves your mom. So his visit should be good." Derek wanted to stay positive with Ella so he did not mention his concern that Archer hated him as he placed the baby back in her incubator. Well, maybe hate is too harsh a word. But ever since his first meeting with Archer, Archer had disliked him.

" _Derek, you're going to love my brother. He's so much fun," said Addie. "It's so great he's agreed to take us out to dinner at Mesa Grill. I've been wanting to go there for a long time."_

" _I'm looking forward to meeting your big brother," responded Derek as they walked into the restaurant._

" _The reservation is for Montgomery," Addie told the maître' d._

" _Yes, I see a reservation for three." The young lady escorted them to a their table._

" _Let's wait for Archer. He really knows wine. I'm sure he'll want to get a bottle."_

" _That's great." Derek perused the menu repeatedly as they waited for Archer. Almost half an hour later, Archer arrived. Derek immediately noticed that he was wearing an expensive Italian suit. That Derek even was aware the suit was both Italian and expensive was due to Addie. Before he met her, his idea of an expensive suit was an off-the-rack special from Brooks Brothers. Addie had taken one look at his best suit and decided to given him an education in suits. Unfortunately for Addie, as a medical student deep in debt from college, Derek had told her that he could not afford a new suit. Addie had offered to buy him one, but Derek's pride wouldn't let him accept such a generous gift so soon in their relationship. And Addie had dropped the topic, much to Derek's relief._

 _Archers explained that he was late because he had been delayed by a patient. Addie stood up and hugged him as soon as she saw him._

" _Archer, this is Derek, and Derek, this is Archer, my big brother."_

" _Pleased to meet you," said Derek._

" _I don't know if Addie explained it to you, but my job is to make sure that the men in her life treat her right."_

" _I understand. I have four sisters. I expect the men in their lives to treat them right."  
_

" _You might have four sisters, but none of them could possibly be as wonderful as Addie."_

 _Derek decided that he would not respond to that. There really wasn't a good response, at least if he wanted Archer to like him, which he did; he agreed that Addie was amazingly wonderful, but he also thought the same of his sisters, or at least Kathleen and Lizzie. Nancy could be a bitch, and Amy had been troubled since his dad's murder._

 _But Archer wouldn't let it go. "Don't you agree that Addie is more wonderful than any of your sisters?"_

" _Archer, stop, he loves his sisters."_

" _You have to come first, Addie."_

" _Archer, Derek is the man of the family. You can't expect him to denigrate his sisters. I would certainly upset if you told your girlfriend's family that I wasn't as wonderful as she was."_

" _Ah, but Addie, I don't have a girlfriend. Derek, I love girls, and I enjoy them frequently, but I've never been a one-woman man."_

" _What about Buffy Vanderbilt?"_

" _That was in seventh grade, Addie."_

" _Still, you were with one girl for at least two months."_

" _And that was the last time I was with one girl for two months."_

" _Some day you'll meet someone special," advised Derek._

" _I might get married some day, but I'm going to want an open marriage. But that's for me. I don't think Addie's one for an open marriage."_

" _Archer, Derek and I have only been together for a few months. We're not talking marriage."_

" _I'm glad to hear that Addie. I'm not convinced that Derek is the right guy for you."_

" _Well, that's why I wanted you to meet him."_

 _Derek was disturbed to learn that Archer had, without even meeting him, been concerned he was not the right guy for Addie. He had a policy of waiting to meet his sisters' boyfriends for himself before judging them at all. And he had immediately liked Jeremy, Kathleen's husband, and Scott, Lizzie's husband. It had taken him longer to appreciate Drew, Nancy's husband, but he was thrilled that Nancy had found someone who was devoted to her. At least Drew was a Yankees fan. And he had rarely liked any of Amy's boyfriends. But then he was always worried that they might be into drugs. He figured that asking that your sisters' boyfriends not be drug users was setting the bar pretty low for their boyfriends._

" _Addie tells me you are in medical school with her."_

" _That's right."_

" _Have you picked a specialty yet?"_

" _I want to be a neurosurgeon. Addie tells me you're a neurologist, so we have brains in common."_

" _Not really. I don't do surgery."_

" _But you work with brains."_

" _But I don't cut into them."_

 _Derek had hoped that they could talk about medicine, but that didn't seem promising after Archer said neurology was very different from neurosurgery. "Are you a sports fan, Archer?"_

" _If the sport involves beautiful women, yes."_

" _Like tennis?"_

" _Not what I was thinking, Derek. I like spending time myself with beautiful women."_

" _Well, Addie's the only woman for me."_

" _That better be true. Addie deserves a man who is devoted to her."_

" _I am."_

" _Time will tell."_

As Derek reflected on his first conversation with Archer, he wondered what Archer thought of the fact that it was Addie who cheated first in their marriage. Derek realized that, not being legally separated, his relationship with Meredith could be considered adultery. And Archer had always liked Mark. Archer and Mark certainly had a love for sex with many women in common.

Derek entered Addie's hospital room and was pleased to see that she smiled at him as soon as she saw him. "Ella's doing well, Addie, and she enjoyed listening to your tapes. I'm sure she recognized your voice."

"That's sweet, Derek."

"She's a beautiful girl. Just like her mom." Derek looked around the room and noticed that there was just one chair. "I'm going to get another chair for Archer. He should be here soon." He went into the hallway and found another chair.

"Thanks, Derek."

"I'm glad that Archer was able to come. Savvy and Weiss will be able to visit you tomorrow, at Mount Sinai."

"That's great."

"Lizzie said she'd try to stop by later today."

"That's kind of her."

"And my whole family will be visiting you before long, I'm sure. Unless you want me to keep them away. It's up to you."

"We'll see how I feel. Right now, seeing you and Archer today is good. And Lizzie later is fine."

A few minutes later, Archer entered the room. Derek was immediately struck, as usual, at how even Archer's weekend clothing was at the height of fashion. After becoming an attending and starting to make real money, Derek had let Addie tutor him in high fashion. But Derek was wearing his Seattle clothes, Levi's jeans and a flannel shirt from , hardly the height of fashion.

"Addie, I stopped at the nursery and saw your little girl. She's beautiful, just like you."

"That's what Derek said."

"Glad to know I agree with him on something."

"I'm glad, too."

"Have you decided what you're calling her?"

"Ella."

"They have her as Ella Shepherd in the nursery."

"Archer, you know they always give the baby the mom's last name. And I'm still Shepherd."

"Is that permanent?"

"I don't know. I was going to marry Mark and become Sloan."

"I'm really sorry that Mark died."

"I know, Archer. You two were great buddies."

"Yes. He was perfect for you."

Derek realized that his decision to stay with Archer and Addie was going to lead to pain for him. He didn't like thinking that Archer liked Mark better than him as Addie's beloved.

Archer went on, "You could name the baby Ella Sloan."

Addie asked, "Really?"

"Yes, I spoke to my lawyer. You do know that because you're married, Derek's considered Ella's father legally."

Addie looked puzzled. "Really?"

"Yes, that's what my lawyer told me. In New York, all children born during the marriage are considered the husband's automatically. But you can establish Mark as the father by getting a paternity test."

"Addie, I don't think there's a need to do this. I'm happy to be Ella's father legally, and I know she's Mark's daughter biologically. I want her to know Mark. I'm already telling her about him."

"Addie, you do realize that letting Derek stay Ella's dad will mean that you have issues of custody and visitation to deal with, assuming you're still interested in getting divorced."

"We're getting divorced, Archer, at some point," advised Addie.

"It would be easier if you didn't have a child together. And you don't. You have a child with Mark, not Derek."

"I'll think about it."

"And Derek, I don't see how you could love Ella the way she deserves to be loved. When you know that her real dad was Addie's lover, not you."

"I already love her, Archer. And Mark was my friend for many years. He told me he wanted to be his children's godfather. He would want me to take care of Ella."

"Derek, you always have this Prince Charming complex. You want everyone to think you're doing the right thing. Addie told me that you were so furious at finding Mark and Addie in bed together that you ran away to Seattle and wouldn't return any of their calls."

"That's enough, Archer," said Addie. "Derek and I will figure out what to do. And maybe I'll name my daughter Ella Sloan Montgomery Shepherd."

"That's beautiful," said Derek.

"It's up to you, Addie. I'll support you, whatever you do, but I think that things will be much easier if you establish Mark as her legal father."

"I'll think about it."

"And has Derek told you that he's planning for you to do your rehab in Seattle?"

"What?"

"He told both Susan and the Captain that he might move you and Ella to Seattle for your rehab."

"Did you, Derek?"

Derek was concerned at the direction that the conversation was going, but he had to admit the truth. "Yes, but it is just one option. Obviously, you get to decide where you're doing rehab. But rehab facilities won't be able to care for Ella. In Seattle, I'd be able to take care of her."

"Derek, you're a busy neurosurgeon. You'll need a nanny. Ella could stay here, in New York, with a nanny. A nanny could provide her with perfectly good care."

"I know I'm a busy doctor, but lots of busy doctors have childcare and also raise children. That's what Mark and Addie were going to do, I'm sure."

"Well, Mark and I were not planning on quitting our jobs to stay home with the baby, that's for sure. We were going to hire a nanny, but we'd be home with the baby when we weren't working, just like any other working parent."

"So I'd be a working dad, Archer. I'd spend as much time with Ella as I could, given my job responsibilities. And I'd make sure that Addie would be able to see Ella as much as possible."

"A nanny could do that, Derek. And what about your love life? Addie said you're getting divorced."

"Archer, I have a girlfriend, Meredith, and she encouraged me to come out here and to be Ella's dad. Her dad abandoned her when she was five, so she knows what it's like to grow up without a dad."

"Well, Addie's not going to want your girlfriend to play mommy with her daughter."

"Meredith won't be her mom. She's a surgical intern, so she will be working many more hours than I do. And Addie doesn't need to decide this yet, Archer. We won't know her course of treatment until after the surgery. And she has time to figure out what she wants to do. If she wants to do rehab in New York, that's fine with me. But it may make better sense for her to come to Seattle."

"So you'd leave Ella here with Addie in New York and go back to Seattle without hiring a lawyer to sue for custody?"

"Yes. I don't want to make a tragic situation worse. I'm ready to be Ella's dad if that's what Addie wants. And we can worry about where she recovers later on. But Addie is Ella's mom, and she's not my biological child, so I think Addie should make the calls on this, not me."

"Okay, guys, I'll make my decision after the surgery and after I've considered the options. And Archer, you're not offering to have Ella move in with you, are you?"

"No way, Addie. I'm not daddy material. I'm happy to be her uncle. I'm going to buy her some great gifts. I could take her to see Lion King when she's four and do things like that. But I'm not changing diapers and caring for a baby."

"Okay, Archer, I'll put you down for Lion King with Ella on her fourth birthday. Now why don't you tell me what you've been up to?"

Derek was glad that Addie had changed the conversation. He had thought he had a great plan, and he had already fallen in love with Ella. He would love to help raise her. But he knew it was all up to Addie. And he'd have to deal with Archer as Ella's uncle even if Addie approved his plan.

After Archer left, Addie turned to Derek and said, "So you really want me to come to Seattle?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because I'm happy to be Ella's dad and take care of her while you're in rehab. To do that, I need to be in Seattle because that's where I work. And you need to be as close as possible to Ella. And you may not be able to go back to the brownstone or the house in the Hamptons right away. There may be too many steps for you at the start. We can rent an apartment in Seattle that's fully accessible."

"I could do that in New York."

"I know. But it will be more affordable in Seattle."

"I don't have to worry about money, Derek."

"I know. And also, Richard Webber loves you. He'd be happy for you to come to work at Seattle Grace."

"So you're thinking I would stay in Seattle?"

"Maybe. It could work out well for you. It's a beautiful place. You'd really love the ferry boat to Bainbridge Island."

"I do love ferry boats, but we have the Staten Island ferry in New York."

"I know New York is great. I'll help find out information about the options, but it's your choice."

"Derek, I do like the idea of Ella living with you and not a nanny. But don't you live in a trailer?"

Derek chuckled. "Yes, I do have a trailer. Nancy told you about the trailer?"

"Of course. She called me as soon as she got back from Seattle. She told me you lived in a tin can and that you were sleeping with a slutty intern."

"Meredith's not slutty. She's wonderful. And I've been spending most of my time living with Meredith, and she has a beautiful house. It was her mom's."

"Is she going to want my baby in her house?"

"Yes, we've already talked about it. Meredith has a thing for strays. Two of her fellow interns are living in the house."

"A stray baby is different from a stray intern."

"Depends on the intern," responded Derek with a laugh. "Anyway, she has a big house and plenty of room. The baby can stay with us while you're in rehab and then live with you as soon as you are done."

"What do the other interns think about having a baby move in?"

"Meredith tells me that Izzie is thrilled, and that George told her that he loves babies. In fact, on bad days at the hospital, Meredith and George to up to the maternity floor and observe the babies."

"They just stare at babies?"

"Yes. And once, Meredith saw that a baby was a bit blue, and she raised the alarm and got the baby evaluated by a cardiac surgeon. And sure enough, the baby had a heart defect that required surgery. "

"Sounds like she's a great doctor."

"Yes. She and her friend Cristina Yang are the two best interns in the class. She comes by it naturally. Her mother is Ellis Grey."

"Ellis Grey had a kid?"

"Apparently it was top secret."

"I'm very surprised. It's a great story – a top woman surgeon is also a mother. For people like me who worry about combining surgery and motherhood, it would be great to know about women who've successfully combined both."

"Well, I don't think that she was all that successful at both. My sense from Meredith was that Ellis gave her all to surgery and really neglected Meredith."

"But Meredith chose to be a surgeon like her mom."

"She admires her mom. She has a complicated mother/daughter relationship."

"So do I. You must be attracted to women who suffer from parental neglect."

"Or maybe it's just a coincidence. But you'll like Meredith. And she has no interest in being Ella's mom."

"But maybe someday her stepmother."

Derek stared at Addie.

"Derek, I know you. If you love Meredith, you're going to want to marry her. And I know you want kids of your own."

"Addie, we've never talked about marriage or children."

"You talked to me about marriage and children the first month we were together."

"I was young then."

"And now you're older. I would think you'd be anxious to settle down with Meredith."

"I'm still married to you, silly. I'm not going to talk marriage with Meredith until we're divorced. And Addie, let's wait until after your surgery and rehab before we go into the details of the divorce. I'm not in any rush to get married."

"Okay. I'm tired now. I'm going to take a nap. Why don't you go hang out with Ella?"

"Sure will."


	10. Chapter 10

_**Note to readers: Some readers seem anxious to take for this story to focus on the final romantic pairing. This story is going very slowly and will take a while to focus on romance; right now it is just days after the initial auto accident that caused Addison's injury, and the focus is on Ella and on Addison's medical treatment. Please be patient!**_

Derek was apprehensive as he stopped the car in the driveway of the Hampton house. He hadn't wanted to return, but Addison had pleaded with him to go and get some of her things before she was transferred to Mount Sinai. She seemed quite desperate to get just a few things from Her Hamptons home. He felt compassion for her, so he could not turn her request down. And he didn't feel he could delegate this task to his sister Liz or anyone else. He didn't want to send someone who was a stranger to the home to go rooting around her things. He knew the house well enough to find the things on Addison's list quickly. He didn't think it would take him more than half an hour, maybe less, to retrieve the items. Yet, he was nervous about his own reaction to entering his onetime home now that it was the home Addison had shared with Mark, and Mark was sadly gone. He was afraid he might once again feel the rage he felt when he first saw Mark and Addison having sex in the bed he shared with Addison or that he might be devastated thinking about Mark's death.

He went in the front door. The entry way was exactly the same as he remembered. Addison was usually fastidious, and the entry way was perfect, with a beautiful umbrella stand and an antique table and several Miro lithographs lining the hall. For a moment, Derek wondered whether it would be perfect in a year or so if Ella were running around. From his experience with his nieces and nephews, he thought that small children tended to make things untidy. No matter how neat and tidy his sisters were, there were always stray toys around when their children were young.

When he entered the living room, he immediately spotted some changes. The furniture was the same, but all the wedding photos were gone. Addison and her parents had hired a very distinguished photographer for the wedding, and Addison had selected a dozen photos to enlarge and line the living room walls with elegant frames and another dozen small photos to decorate the bookcases and mantel. They were all gone. In fact, all the photos that featured Derek had vanished as well as all the other photos featuring any Shepherd. Addie had previously displayed at least a dozen photos of herself with their nieces and nephews, but they were all gone. He did see some photos of Addison and Archer as well as two of Addison and Mark. The first one he had taken; Addison and Mark were wearing their scrubs on the first day of residency. He had been thrilled that his best friend and his fiancée at that point were such good friends. The second was recent; Addison looked to be about five months pregnant, and they were in their swimsuits at a beach. Derek figured they must have gone for a babymoon in the tropics. He was pleased that seeing the photo didn't bother him; he thought instead of the fun that he had been having with Meredith at that time. He was really happy in Seattle, so it made no sense for him to be bitter about Mark and Addison. Not that feelings were always sensible.

He climbed the stairs. He thought to himself that it might be some time before Addie could climb the stairs herself, and maybe she would never be able to walk up the stairs. For the first time, he realized that both of Addie's homes, the Hamptons House and the Manhattan brownstone, would be completely inaccessible to Addie, at least without significant renovations, unless she soon recovered her ability to walk. But at least Addie had the resources to make her homes accessible, even adding elevators was necessary.

When he entered the bedroom, he immediately saw that Addison hadn't changed much, apart from removing all the photos of him and his family. The bed still wore the paisley sheets that he had loved and the matching duvet. And the photo Addie wanted was right where she said it would be, on the nightstand on her side of the bed. He picked up the photo, and tears came to his eyes as he saw Mark holding up a Yankees onesie. Mark had a broad grin; he was obviously delighted with the pregnancy. It was so sad that Mark had died before he could meet Ella, and that Ella would grow up without ever meeting her father. Memories of playing with his nieces and nephews flooded his thoughts, and he knew Mark would have been a loving dad. He vowed to himself that he would always let Ella know that her dad loved her and that he would have been an amazing father if only he had lived.

He then went to the dressers and packed some underwear for Addie. He also picked out some comfortable clothes for her, and a bathrobe and slippers. He then found her day bag, an old LL bean canvas bag that he knew well, and carefully placed the items in the bag, with the photo on top. It had felt strange going through her things, especially since so many were familiar to him. It was odd to think that Addison was so much the same as before, when they were married, when he had changed so much. Instead of frequently wearing designer suits, he spent most of his time off in jeans and flannel shirts. And he lived in a trailer, not a deluxe house in the Hamptons or a Manhattan brownstone. Although he did spend a fair amount of time in Meredith's Queen Anne house, and that house had a lot in common with Addie's Manhattan brownstone, being an elegant single family home in a desirable neighborhood. Yet another way in which Addie and Meredith were similar.

He also realized that it might be some time before Addison returned to the house. So he went to the kitchen and went through the refrigerator, putting food either in the freezer or the garbage, depending on whether it would freeze well. He then went through the house and emptied all the trash cans and put the garbage outside. He turned down the heat. He put checking with Addison about her housekeepers and possible house-sitters on his mental to-do list. He then brought the items on Addie's list to his car, and he then went back to lock the house.

Derek made a stop before he went to the hospital, finding something special for Addison. He walked into her hospital room, and he immediately announced, "I brought you lunch."

"So breakfast was my last hospital meal here?"

"Unless you want lunch here. I'm sure I can give away a lobster roll if you don't want it."

"A lobster roll?"

"Yes, from Silver's Restaurant in Southampton."

Addie's eyes lit up. "My favorite?"

"Yes, I remembered." Derek smiled. He had thought that seeing the photo of Mark would be very emotional for Addie, and he wanted her to know that, even if they were divorcing, that he cared about her. And Addie and Derek both expressed affection through food.

"Derek, that's so sweet." She then turned to Derek. "They came by with the birth certificate this morning. They wanted me to name the baby before I left the hospital."

"That seems standard."

"It's weird to name her without seeing her. As a doctor, I always get to see the newborns. And she is my newborn."

"You're going to see her very soon."

"I know. Anyway, I've decided on Ella's full name."

Derek met her eyes. He waited for her to continue.

"I know the surgery is supposed to be straightforward, and it's not supposed to be risky. But you and I both know that surgery can go wrong easily and without notice. So I worry about what would happen to Ella if I died."

"Addie, you don't have to worry about death. The chances of dying with this surgery are very remote."

"Remote but not impossible. It was remote that Mark and I would get into a car accident, and he would die. Anyway, my point is that I will feel better if I go into surgery knowing that you are Ella's dad legally. So I named her Ella Sloan Shepherd. And she's going to have two dads, you and Mark. So if I die, I expect you to raise her as your own."

"You're not going to die."

"But if I do, Derek, you'll raise her as your own."

"Yes, assuming that's a question. It sounds more like an order." Derek responded with a smile.

Addie ignored his jab. "But if I live, I'm going to be her primary caregiver once I'm done with rehab, and I want you to agree that I can live with her anywhere I want." 

"Not North Korea?"

"Anywhere in the U.S., Derek. And I wouldn't dream of living in North Korea. After all, there's no Bloomie's there. And no Barney's." Addie smiled.

Derek chuckled. He was glad he had gotten Addie to smile. "Just teasing, Addie. I can write your rules down on this post-it." Derek took out a yellow post-it pad and began writing. "Addie is primary caregiver after rehab. Addie decides where Ella lives."

"And you can have some visitation."

"Okay. Derek can have some visitation."

"And you will teach her about Mark and about me."

"And I will teach her about both Mark and you."

"Thanks so much, Derek."

"Thank you, Addie, for trusting me with Ella. She's very precious."

"That's for sure. I can't wait to meet her."

"You'll meet her soon."

"You'll come with us in the helicopter, right?"

"Yes. I'm glad they decided on a helicopter rather than an ambulance. I wouldn't want to be stuck in traffic on the L.I.E. for hours. One thing I don't miss about NY is the traffic. I'm going to return the rental car now, and then I'll get a taxi back here."

"You won't need a car in Manhattan."

"I know. I did live in New York with you for eleven years."

"We had a car most of the time."

"Just for driving to the Hamptons and to visit my mom and sisters. We never used the car in Manhattan."

"Sometimes for shopping."

"That was you. You're the shopping Queen."

"I guess so. And you're not even a shopping Prince, Derek."

"You should see my trailer. I bought a top-of-the-line trailer."

"Derek, it's a trailer."

"Well, that's true. But I love it. It's simple."

"Does your Meredith like the trailer?"

"Yes, she does." Derek remembered that moment when he first showed Meredith his trailer. He had been nervous that she might run in the other direction when she saw that a neurosurgeon was living in a tin box, but instead she grabbed his hand and went toward the trailer with a smile on her face.

"So she's the anti-Addison."

"In some ways. But you actually have a lot in common," Derek acknowledged. "You both love to boss me around."

"You didn't always do what I wanted."

"But you always gave me your opinion as to what I should do." 

"You can always benefit from my wisdom," Addie said with a smile.

"So you think. Anyway, I better get going if I'm going to get back in time to go with you in the helicopter. You're supposed to leave at 3 p.m."

"Okay."

Derek kept thinking about he did not miss the traffic in Long Island. The 15 minutes drive from the car rental agency wound up taking more than a half hour. He was glad that he wound up getting back to the hospital at 2:45 p.m., just before Addie and Ella were due to leave. He ran straight to the neonatal unit, and he found that Ella had already been packed up and was ready to go down to the helicopter pad. He went with her up to the helicopter pad. Addie had already been loaded on the helicopter. She smiled when she saw him and the incubator arrive.

After the incubator was loaded on the plane, Derek turned to the pilot and said, "We need to wait a few minutes. Addie needs to meet her daughter." He stood next to the incubator and carefully adjusted all the cords so that he could take her out of the incubator. He placed her on Addie's chest.

"Oh Derek, thank you," Addie said. "She's so beautiful."

Derek noted that the baby was looking directly at her mother. "She knows you."

"You think?"

"Sure. She recognizes your voice. She heard it all the time before she was born."

"Hmm."

"You're the neonatal surgeon. You know that studies show that sound travels to the fetus in the womb."

"Yeah. She's so sweet."

"Yes, she is."

The pilot turned to them. "We've got to get going. The baby needs to go back in the incubator."

Addie brought the baby's head to her lips and kissed her. "Sweetheart, I'll see you again soon. We have to get going. But always remember that Mommy loves you very very much."

Derek picked up the baby, and he gave her a kiss on the top of her head as well. "And I love you, too." And then, in a whisper so low that Addie couldn't hear, he said "And so did your dad Mark Sloan." He didn't want to upset Addie with the mention of Mark's name.

And then the helicopter took off for Mount Sinai and Manhattan.


	11. Chapter 11

"Addie, this is amazing. We're already in Manhattan." Derek smiled as they passed by the 59th street Bridge. "Are you feeling groovy?"

Addie laughed. "Yes, that's me, feeling groovy just going from one hospital to another."

"Don't you still like Simon & Garfunkel?"

"Yes, but my favorite is The Sounds of Silence, not the 59th Street Bridge Song."

"Oh, but it's the 59th street bridge that we just passed. It's amazing how fast we're going. Did you see all the cars stuck in traffic on the Long Island Expressway?"

Addie laughed. "Yes, Derek, a helicopter is much faster than a car. I'm sure that's news to a brain surgeon."

Derek was happy to hear Addie laugh. "There's a reason people call the Long Island Expressway a parking lot."

"Yeah. Too bad we never thought of buying a helicopter."

"A helicopter wasn't in my budget. Although you could probably afford to buy one with your trust fund." Derek always enjoyed teasing Addie about her wealth.

"Well, it's not like we had a helipad at the brownstone."

The pilot jumped in, "We're landing now."

As soon as they landed, Addie turned to Derek, "I'd like to hold her again."

"She's sleeping. You know what my mom says."

Addie chuckled. "The words of wisdom of Carolyn Shepherd: Never touch a sleeping baby. But she tells that to your sisters, and they've never been separated from a newborn for days. She'd understand that I want to hold the baby when this is the only time I've seen her."

"I'm sure she would. Okay." Derek picked up the baby, and she woke up immediately. She stared at him. "Here's your mommy, Ella," he said as he placed her on Addie's chest. Just as soon as he put her down, the hospital staff arrived.

Addie ignored the arrival of the hospital staff and stared at her daughter while patting her. "Oh Ella, Mommy loves you."

"Hi Derek, Addie," greeted Manny Hernandez, the head of the neurosurgery unit.

"Manny, what are you doing here on a Sunday?" Derek was surprised to see him.

"I came in just for you and Addie, Derek. I want to examine Addie and make sure she hasn't been injured during the transfer."

"I'm fine, Manny, but thank you."

"Fine?" Manny looked at Addie. His eyes roamed over her, pausing at her bandages.

Addie smiled. "Well, I meant the same as I was before I left the hospital. And I'm happy holding my baby girl. Thank you for your concern."

"No problem. Everyone here is rooting for all of you."

"Thanks."

"Addie, we're going to have to put the baby back in the incubator."

"Can she room with me here?" Addie kissed the top of her baby's head.

"We'll have to see, Addie."

"They wouldn't let me see her. This helicopter ride was the first time I got to see her. I want to be with her. She's my baby." Addie kept stroking her daughter's back.

"Addie, we have to put your health and her health first. You're going to have many years together, so a few days of being separated won't matter."

"It matters to me. I want to bond with my baby."

"Addie, you know that a complete recovery for both of you is most important."

"Being together is what's best for both of us. Ella needs her mom."

"I know that children need their moms, Addie, but Ella is still a preemie, and she belongs in the NICU at least until after your surgery. You know we like to keep babies in the NICU until they hit four pounds. After your surgery, we'll see what she weighs and make a decision accordingly."

"I'm a doctor."

"Here, you're a patient, not a doctor."

"Addie, she'll be okay," said Derek. "I'll stay with her, if you want."

"I want to be with her, Derek."

"I know. I'm second best, if that. But I thought you could rest easier knowing I'll be with her."

Addie sighed. She knew she had no choice. "That would be good. I'm going to text Savvy and let her know I've arrived. She and Weiss are going to visit me, so I'll have company."

"That's a good plan. I'll come visit when Ella is sleeping. I'd like to catch up with Savvy and Weiss."

"I'll text you when you can stop by. I need to talk to them about some stuff."

Derek tried to meet her eyes, but she looked a way.

"Don't worry, Derek. It's just about what we've already agreed."

"You can wait until after the surgery."

"No, Derek, I want everything settled now. I can see that you're falling in love with Ella."

Derek picked up Ella and turned her so she faced him. He looked into her eyes, "So Mommy thinks I'm falling in love you with. Silly Mommy. I fell in love with you the first time I set eyes on you."

"Derek, let's put the baby in the incubator. We've got to bring her to the NICU."

"Okay," said Derek as he gently placed Ella in the incubator and kissed the top of her head. "I'll see you later," he said to Addie, as he went with the nurses to go to the NICU.

"Addie, now we're going to your room," said Manny as he and two residents began to take her to her room. "Maria Ramos and Andy Chin are terrific neurosurgery residents. They'll be following your case this week."

"Good to meet you," remarked Addie. Her mother had drilled into her the importance of being polite. And Addie genuinely liked working with young doctors although she preferred being their boss to being their patient.

As soon as they got to the room, Manny did a quick exam. "Well, Addie, you were right. There's no adverse change in your condition now that you're here."

"But no change for the better either."

"It's not like flying in a helicopter is a magic medical cure."

"I wish it were, Manny."

"You're a surgeon, Addie, so believe in surgery. Your procedure is scheduled for Tuesday."

"So I get to spend all day tomorrow here without my baby?"

"Maria and Andy, you can take a break now. I want to spend a few minutes chatting with my friend." The two residents left the room.

"Addie, no complaining."

"Why not?"

"Because, Addie, we're all grateful you're alive and Ella's here and in good shape."

"Mark's dead," Addie added mournfully.

"I know," Manny said gently. "But he would be glad that Ella and you survived."

"I know that. But I miss him, Manny. He should be here. It's his baby."

"I thought her name is Ella Shepherd."

"It was Derek's idea. We haven't filed for divorce yet, so he's legally her dad although not her biological dad. And I know that I could die in the surgery. Then she'll at least have one parent, even if he's not her biological dad."

"You're not going to die. And you're lucky to have Derek here. Not many husbands would be there if their wives had babies by other men."

"Well, he and Mark were brothers."

"Not recently. Mark told me that Derek refused to take his calls."

Addie sighed. She knew that Manny was friends with both Derek and Mark, which had been a hard place to be since Derek left for Seattle. That's the way she liked to think of the day that fractured their relationship, not the day Derek discovered her in bed with Mark. Although for all she knew, Derek left for Seattle days later. "That's why I hadn't yet filed for divorce. Well, now Mark is dead, and Ella is all that's left of him."

"Addie, I know you suffered a tremendous loss."

"Poor Ella suffered a big loss. She'll never know her father."

"You'll tell her all about him."

"It's not the same, Manny, and you know it."

"I'm not sure how we got on this topic, Addie. But I know that surgery is more successful when patients are hopeful. You need to focus on the positives. You were in a terrible car accident, and you survived and so did your baby.

"I know, but it's hard to focus on the baby when she's not in my room. She should be with me."

"I'll see what I can do after your surgery."

"Can't I just have a couple of hours with her tomorrow? I have nothing to do."

"I'll check with the head of the NICU."

"What if Derek were here the entire time? He's a doctor, too."

"I'll see what I can do. But you wouldn't be able to have any visitors other than Derek while the baby is with you. We want to protect her from infections."

"That's fine. I don' t need anyone else."

Ironically, that was the moment that Savvy knocked on the door.

"Come in," said Manny. "I'm on my way out."

"Thank you, Manny."

"You're welcome, Addie. Believe me, before long you'll be complaining that the baby's keeping you up all night."

"I may have to go to rehab, Manny."

"I know, but that time will pass quickly and before long Ella will be keeping you up all night."

"I can't wait for that."

"Good-bye."

"Good-bye, Manny." Addie turned to Savvy and Weiss, who had come into the room. Addie smiled when she saw the enormous bouquet of red, pink, and white roses Savvy carried. "What beautiful flowers, Savvy. Thank you so much."

"I figured you were the one who needed the present."

"Savvy, you have already given Ella great gifts at the baby shower."

"That was just a start, Addie."

"Well, you did go to town. I don't think I'm going to need to get her a dress until she's in middle school."

"And by then, she won't let you buy her dresses unless she's there to pick them out."

"I'm sure she'll have a mind of her own when it comes to getting dressed. I used to fight with my nannies because I wanted to wear blue jeans and T-shirts, and my mother wanted the nannies to dress me like a lady."

"Well, I think you'll let your daughter wear what she wants," commented Weiss.

"But not if it is too sexy," added Savvy.

"So you think I'll be an overprotective mom?"

"No, just the right amount of being protective, Addie. Now I expect Derek to be very overprotective."

"That's one reason why I wanted you to come. I want to file for divorce before my operation on Tuesday."

"Are you sure? Why not wait?"

"Derek has a girlfriend, and I loved Mark. I feel that if I've filed for divorce before she's born, I've really shown Mark that I loved him, and that he was the only guy for me."

"Addie, Mark's dead, and Derek has volunteered to be Ella's dad, knowing that Mark is her biological dad. Why not give yourself some time to think about this?"

"I want Ella to know that I loved Mark and that I divorced Derek as soon as I could."

"You know I'm not a family law lawyer, Addie," said Weiss.

"Well, you must have someone who does family law at your firm. What I want is really simple. You can tell someone what I want and they can draft the papers tomorrow. We each keep our own property and assets. I'll keep the Hamptons house because I paid for it with my trust fund, and I'll pay Derek for his share of the brownstone. And he agrees that I get custody of Ella, but that he can have custody when I'm in rehab and that he can have generous visitation. And I can decide where we live."

"That seems pretty straightforward. I'll see if I can get someone to write up an agreement tomorrow."

"Thank you."

"Addie, it must be weird for you to have Derek her," commented Savvy.

"Sure is. But he's been great. He really loves the baby."

"As I recall, he wanted a baby."

"Yeah. And I said no, we need to wait. I think that's when things really staretd to go badly for us."

"And now you have the baby."

"But it's Mark's baby. And I don't love Derek like a wife should."

"Mark wouldn't want you to be alone long-term."

"I'm not taking a vow of chastity for the rest of my life. I just don't think that Derek's the man for me."

"Okay."


	12. Chapter 12

Addie stared at the lunch the nurse had brought. She couldn't bring herself to even touch the turkey. It looked to her as if it had come out of can.

Then the door opened, and she saw Derek walk in, pushing something covered with a blanket. "And voila, Addie," he said, removing the blanket and revealing Ella's incubator. He moved the incubator so it was beside Addie.

"Derek, you are a miracle worker. You got them to let you bring Ella or did you sneak her out?" She stared at her sleeping daughter.

"Addie, I got permission. But I had to conceal Ella so that the other moms didn't get ideas that all preemies could get out of the NICU. You're special because you're a great doctor with lots of experience with newborns. And you work here. They love you. And they know that I'm here with her, so it was no problem at all."

"I think you sweet-talked Jessica Khan." Addie knew the NICU head nurse was fierce in protecting newborns.

"She loves you."

"And she trusts you with Ella."

"I think it's more like she trusts you to supervise me with Ella. After all, I'm just a brain surgeon."

"Derek, you've worked with lots of babies."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence."

"You're welcome."

"Anyway, she's sleeping now. But I brought you something else for you to enjoy now." Derek smiled and took out a shopping bag labeled "Sarabeth's."

"Sarabeth's?"

"You need to eat." Derek looked at her lunch tray. "You haven't even eaten one bite of the hospital lunch. I knew it would be hard for you to eat the food here. And I know you love Sarabeth's club sandwich."

"Did you bring something for yourself?"

"Of course, I got myself their morning crunch granola and yogurt." Derek sat down in the chair next to Addie's bed and opened his lunch.

"You're still a health nut."

"I like to eat healthy, that's true. I'll be a good role model for Ella."

"She is going to love pizza and French fries," Addie announced with a smile.

"I may be fighting a losing battle, I know. Between you and Meredith, I'm sure Ella will have lots of pizza and French fries. But maybe she'll like granola, yogurt, and fruit, too."

"We'll see about that. And I do sometimes eat healthy foods." Addie took out her sandwich and began to eat. "How's the food in Seattle?"

"Well, Seattle has many great restaurants."

"I mean at the hospital."

"It's hospital food, which is pretty universally terrible."

"Now Derek, don't you remember the time we went to observe surgery in Paris? The food at the French hospital was great."

"Okay, you got me. I'll say that hospital food in the US is universally terrible."

"Maybe it's better in New Orleans or Santa Fe."

"Maybe. But I know the food is awful in both Seattle and NY."

"So what's the attraction to Seattle, Derek?"

"Well, there are ferry boats."

"New York has the Staten Island ferry."

"But I never considered living in Staten Island. I bought 40 acres of property on Bainbridge Island. I have a fabulous view of the city as well as a dock on a lake."

"And you live in a tin can."

"The trailer's just temporary, Addie. I'm going to build a house."

"Is that a new idea?"

"No, that was the plan all along. Although I may move up the plans now." He looked at Ella. "I don't think you'd want your daughter to be spending much time living in a trailer."

"Do you really expect me to move to Seattle?"

Derek looked appraisingly at Addie. "No, not permanently. I just thought it would make sense for you to do your rehab out there. My mom said she'd come to take care of Ella while I'm working, so I have the best childcare imaginable for her. And we have a top-rated spinal rehab facility that would be great for you. And I'll be there to help."

"Derek, Weiss called earlier, and he's bringing the divorce papers over for us to sign this afternoon. I want to file for divorce today. Why do you want to help if we're not married?"

"I know our marriage is over. And I'm in love with Meredith. And I knew you were in love with Mark. But I still care about you. And really, do you have a better option?"

"No," Addie answered immediately.

"Look, I never wanted you to be hurt. And I certainly never wanted Mark to die. And I've fallen in love with Ella. She may not be my child biologically, but many people adopt children and love them dearly. She needs people who love her now. That's you, me and my mom. And my mom loved Mark and is excited to care for Ella, much as her heart is breaking for you and Mark. And Meredith and her friends can help as well."

"Meredith is an intern working 80 hour weeks. I never thought of having a baby when we were interns or residents. It's ridiculous to expect her to parent Ella."

Derek smiled, hearing Addie speak for Meredith. "I don't expect her to parent Ella. You're her mom. I just said that she could help. And you know my mom is happy to be her grandma. She treated Mark like a son."

"Until he slept with me."

"Well, I know she was shocked."

"Mark felt weird about the situation. I don't think he contacted any of the Shepherds after you left."

"Well, I'm sorry he died without having the opportunity to be friends again with me and with my family. But we've got to do what's right for Ella and what's right for you. So, you may be divorcing me, but you're still going to be part of the Shepherd extended family, and Ella is going to be treated as a true Shepherd."

"That's great. She'll certainly have lots of cousins."

All of a sudden Addie's phone rang. Addie answered, "Addison here."

"Thank you for taking this call. I'm Jonathan Greenblatt, and I'm Mark Sloan's attorney."

Addie was surprised to get a call from Mark's lawyer. She turned her phone on speaker so Derek could here. "Okay."

"I want to set up a time to do a reading of the will as soon as possible."

"Well, I'm in the hospital, at Mount Sinai, and I'm having surgery tomorrow."

"I can do this in the hospital. There are only four other people who need to attend: Derek Shepherd, Carolyn Shepherd, Adrian Sloan and Margaret Sloan. It's better to do this in the hospital so that we can do it this week."

"Okay. Can you tell me what the will says about me?"

"No, we have to wait for the reading of the will."

"Well, my surgery is tomorrow, but maybe I'll be feeling well enough on Friday afternoon."

"Okay, Friday it is. Is 11:00 a.m. good for you?"

"Sure. I'll tell Derek, and he'll tell his mother."

"Thank you. See you then."

"My mother is named in Mark's will?" asked Derek.

"I know nothing about it. But Mark did adore your mother."

"Well, his own mother didn't have a maternal bone in her body."

"That's for sure."

"So she's going to be here, with Mark's dad, on Friday."

"They might not come."

"I wonder if they'll have any interest in Ella."

"We'll see on Friday."


	13. Chapter 13

Derek rocked back and forth in the rocking chair in the NICU, holding Ella against his naked chest. He really enjoyed kangaroo care; he felt so close to Ella. He loved feeling her breathe against his chest. He murmured to her, "Mommy is going to be just fine. She's going to get better. She wants to be here with you, sweetheart, but she is in surgery now. I've done this surgery myself, but I couldn't operate on your mommy. But we found a great doctor for her, and I have full confidence in her."

Derek stopped rocking for a moment and held Ella a bit away from his chest so he could stare into her eyes. "You love your mommy, I know that. And you're going to get to spend a lot of time with her. And don't worry, daddy will always want to spend time with you." He put her back on his chest and rock back and forth some more.

"Dr. Shepherd," called a nurse whose name Derek had forgotten. Anne-Marie?

"Yes," he replied.

"There's a woman outside the NICU who is looking for you."

"Did she give her name?"

"She said you know her. She said she'd wait for you."

Derek grimaced. The only women likely to be looking for him were his sisters, or maybe his mother, and they were bound to be a lot more emotionally demanding than Ella.

"I'll take the baby," volunteered the nurse.

"Okay," Derek replied. He kissed the top of Ella's head, and he told her, "Daddy has to go. Someone wants to talk to me, but I'll be missing you. I love you, sweetheart." He gave the nurse the baby, and she dressed her and put her in the bassinet as Derek watched while he put on his shirt. "Good-bye, sweetheart," he said as he walked to the exit.

He opened the door, and he immediately spotted his mother. "Mom," he said as he gave her a hug and a kiss.

"It's so good to see you, Derek," she said after he released her. "I figured you'd be up here when I saw you weren't in the waiting room."

"And it's good to see you, Mom. You didn't tell me you were coming."

"Derek, you told me Addie was having surgery today. I thought I'd wait with you. I didn't realize you had found someone better to wait with." Carolyn smiled.

"Well, Mom, I'm happy to wait with you. I just hate waiting in the waiting room. It's so weird, being a doctor there."

"You don't like being with the common people?" Again Carolyn smiled.

"I don't mean it that way, Mom. It's just I find it hard to see all the other people waiting. I'm used to telling people news, not waiting for news."

"But you don't really want to think about Addie, either, Derek. It's really good to think about something else while you wait. Let's go to the cafeteria and get a cup of coffee."

"Okay, Mom." Derek led Carolyn to the cafeteria, and they each got a cup of coffee and a fruit bowl.

"So how are you doing, Derek?" Carolyn asked after she sipped some coffee.

"How do you think I'm doing, Mom? I was making a good life for myself in Seattle, I found a wonderful woman, and I was having a great time, and now my best friend is dead, Addie may be paralyzed, and we have a premature baby. And we filed for divorce yesterday."

"Why divorce now?"

"Mom, Addie wants a divorce. She loved Mark. I think she thinks ending our marriage shows her devotion to Mark. She was very insistent on filing for divorce now."

"You didn't have to agree, Derek."

Derek looked directly at his mother. "Mom, Addie cheated on me with Mark. She loved Mark. That means she doesn't love me, at least not the way a wife should love a husband. And I've accepted that and moved on. I love Meredith. I'm willing to be Ella's dad because she needs a father, but there's no reason for me to stay married to Addie."

"Derek, you were married in church. You swore an oath before God."

"Mom, we got married in a Presbyterian church, and Presbyterians have no problem with divorce. I know you would have preferred a Catholic church, but Addie was Presbyterian, and she was the bride. And now Addie got to decide about divorce. She's in surgery now, and she wanted to file for divorce before the surgery began. I couldn't say not to her, not when she's lying in a hospital bed. Especially since I don't want to be married to her."

"You could have asked her to wait until after the surgery."

"Mom, she was afraid she could die during surgery."

"Derek, I don't mean to be harsh, but if she died during surgery, she'd still be your wife."

"Mom, we both know that. But Addie wanted to file yesterday, and I did what she wanted. I just couldn't say no to her."

"But what about the baby? Doesn't she need two parents?"

"She has two parents. We just won't be married. That's all. And we agreed that Addie will have custody and I'll have visitation after she recovers."

"I don't understand this, Derek. What if she lives in New York?"

"Mom, we'll work it out."

"I don't understand why you think you'll be able to work it out." Carolyn Shepherd shook her head. "You hadn't spoken to Addie for months before the accident."

"Mom, we're going to put Ella's interests first."

"But what if Addie remarries?"

"Mom, haven't you always said don't trouble trouble until trouble troubles you?"

"I'm worried about the baby."

"Ella, Mom, her name is Ella."

"Yes, Ella. I just think it's better for children if their parents are married."

"Mom, I agree. But Addie and I are getting divorced, and we're going to work things out. I'd like you to help, Mom."

"What do you want me to do?" Carolyn sipped her coffee.

"Well, Addie's probably going to need rehab, and I'd like her to do rehab in Seattle. Ella will stay with me. We have a day care at the hospital, but I'd like Ella to beat least three months before she starts at the day care center. I'd love you to come and help me take care of Ella."

"You know I can't resist taking care of a grandbaby," Carolyn responded with a smile.

"Yes, I do. But I know you also have childcare responsibilities here."

"Your sisters can hire nannies or work something else out. You know I always prioritize the babies."

Derek smiled, "Yes, Mom. I knew you'd say yes, even if it meant coming to Seattle for a few months."

"Will Addie agree?"

"Mom, I already told her that you'd be coming out to take care of Ella."

"Presumptuous, aren't you?"

"I just know my mom." He then drank more of his coffee and starting eating the fruit. "You can talk to Addie about it on Friday. You need to come here on Friday for the reading of Mark's will. His lawyer says you're named in the will." He looked at his mother and saw she was stunned. She said nothing for several minutes.

Then she turned toward him and asked, "Why would Mark name me in his will?"

"Because you've been more of a mother to him than his birth mother."

"Derek, I didn't adopt him."

"You practically did. He came over to our house after school virtually ever school day, starting in October of the year I started kindergarten."

"Derek, I hadn't talked to Mark since you told me what he did."

"I'm sure he didn't blame you for that, Mom," Derek responded. He tried to comfort his Mom by putting his hands on top of hers.

"You don't know what he thought."

"Mom, I know he loved you. And he knew that you would be mad that he slept with Addie when she was married to me. That's a pretty understandable reaction. You would have felt the same even if he were your biological son."

"I guess you're right," Carolyn admitted. "Do you think they'd let me in the NICU to see Ella?"

Derek laughed. "I'm sure they let grandparents in the NICU. Believe me, I've seen many grandparents in the NICU when I'm treating babies. Let's go back to the NICU and introduce you to your new grandbaby."


	14. Chapter 14

Derek stared at Addison. She looked so peaceful while she slept. The nurse had reported that she had woken up briefly in the recovery room but then she had quickly returned to sleep. Derek had sat, waiting for her to wake up again, for more than half an hour. He had the current issue of Clinical Neurology and Neurosurgery in front of him, but he couldn't bring himself to read it. He kept thinking about how much his life had changed in just a week. He had thought that he was done with Addison and that he would never see her again. He has pushed the fact that they were still married to the back of his mind and tried to avoid thinking about her. Instead, he had been thinking exclusively of Meredith and how he was falling in love with her.

Every once in a while, Addison had crossed his mind. Whenever he heard the click clack of high heels, he turned to see if she was there. Somehow, in the back of his mind, he had thought that she might track him down. But then he would turn to look, and instead he saw see it was someone else, and he was relieved it wasn't her. And now, because of Ella, Addison was in his life for the rest of their lives.

And Meredith was coming Friday. So his two lives – East Coast Derek and West Coast Derek – were going to meet. Or rather Meredith was going to meet Ella. And he thought it was likely that she would meet Addie. Meredith didn't seem to have a problem with meeting Addie. But Meredith had shocked him in their last call when she made clear that she no interest in meeting his mother.

" _Derek, my plane gets in at 3:00 p.m."_

" _That's great. Friday's going to be a big day. We're going to have the reading of Mark's will at 11 a.m. But the highlight for me will be seeing you."_

" _That's sweet. I'm excited to see you and also to meet your daughter."_

" _She's beautiful. I fell in love with her at first sight."_

 _Meredith laughed. "And that's what you said about me."_

" _Maybe I just fall in love at first sight with all the beautiful ladies."_

" _Like your wife?"_

 _Derek was speechless for a moment. This was the first time Meredith seemed jealous of Addison. He didn't want her to be bitter about Addison. "Meredith, you're my true love."_

" _Derek, you must have loved your wife when you got married. I can't imagine you marrying someone you didn't love."_

" _Please stop calling her my wife. We filed a separation agreement on Monday."_

" _You're still married until the divorce is final."_

" _Meredith, that's a legalistic view. I love you. And you must still love me if you're spending a rare week-end off travelling cross-country to be with me."_

" _Maybe I just want to meet your daughter."_

" _And why would you what to meet her if you didn't love me?"_

 _Meredith giggled. "You know I love you, Derek."_

" _I'm glad to hear it. And I love you."_

" _Good."_

" _So my mother will be here on Friday. She adores Ella, so I'm sure she'd be happy to hang around until you arrive so she can meet you."_

" _No, Derek. I'm not coming to meet your mother."_

" _She'll love you."_

 _Meredith giggled as if he had said a something funny rather than something true. "You would think that. I'm not the kind of girl that mothers like."_

" _I don't understand why you would say that."_

" _Derek, we started as a one night stand. Mothers don't like girls who do one nights stands."_

" _But I did the one night stand, too."_

" _You're a man, Derek. It's different."_

" _I thought you were a feminist."_

" _I am. Just not planning on meeting your mom. I've had enough of an experience of being a disappointment to mothers. Your mom is going to be tired, too, by the time I get there. She should go home."_

" _She's going to come to Seattle to help take care of Ella, Mer. You're going to meet her some time."_

" _Well, not this week-end if I can help it, Derek. I'm happy to meet Ella and hang out with you. I'm even willing to meet Ella's mom. I have been doing research on rehab facilities for her. That should be enough for you."_

" _Okay."_

Derek suddenly realized that he needed to get a hotel room for the week-end. He had ultimately decided to stay at the brownstone, in the guest room that had doubled as his office. He just hadn't had time to book a hotel, and he knew had work to do at the brownstone. He figured that he might as well stay there. He had decided to start in the nursery, with Ella's things. He knew that Addie must have spent many hours selecting the perfect furniture for Ella as well as the perfect clothes and various baby equipment, so he though it was better to move it all to Seattle than for him to buy new stuff that Addie was bound to hate. Addie had always bought all the home furnishings and home décor; she had hated anything that he suggested, as if there was a principle that anything he recommended was unacceptable. He did feel fortunate that she listened to him; he wanted all their furniture to be comfortable, and she had agreed, even if something uncomfortable would be more artistic.

Derek decided that he was not going to bring Meredith to Addison's home. So he put finding a hotel on the top of his to-do list. Manhattan had plenty of hotels, so he wasn't worried about finding a hotel. Maybe the Pierre would be great. Or maybe he should stay some place closer to the hospital.

He was worried about Addie. The surgery had gone well, but there had been a lot of damage to her spine, and there was a good chance that she would be left with some paralysis. He worried about her reaction to the news. And the doctor had indicated that Addie would be able to travel by the end of next week, so there would be a lot of details to work out. But once Addie was in Seattle, he'd be able to return to work. Richard had been very understanding of his sudden need for leave, but it would be great to be able to go back to work. While Jim Nelson had been able to do a few of the urgent cases, most of his patients had insisted on waiting for him to return, so he now had a big backlog of surgeries to do. He was hoping to set up a schedule that would enable him to deal with many of them before Ella was able to come home.

Suddenly he heard Addie stirring. He looked at her and saw her opening her eyes. "Addie, welcome back."

She opened her eyes. "How did the surgery go?"

"Dr. Fowler will be here soon to tell you about it."

"Derek, what do you know? You said you'd tell me the truth."

Derek sighed. He had promised to tell her the truth. "There was a lot of damage to your spine. They did the best they could, but only time will tell if you have any paralysis."

Addie looked at him. She tried to move her legs without success. "Derek, I can't feel my legs or my feet."

Derek met her eyes. "Addie, you need to go to rehab. With pt and ot, you may regain some mobility."

"Derek, you're a neurosurgeon. If I can't feel my legs now, what is the chance that I'll ever be able to walk?" She asked plaintively.

"Addie, there is a chance you can walk. It's going to take time to tell. You just woke up from surgery."

Addie stared at him. "What is the chance? One in a hundred?"

Derek shrugged. "Addie, I don't know. You know that a medical license doesn't come with a crystal ball. You have a chance; I've seen the films, and you don't have a complete break. Whether you'll get to walk again is something no doctor can predict. We have to hope for the best."

"And prepare for the worst, Derek."

"Yes, eventually. But not today. Today we can rejoice that you made it safely through the surgery." Derek smiled at her. "It's really a miracle that you and Ella are both alive. We need to be grateful for that."

Addie shook her head. "But what if it's the worst? What if I never walk again? How can I be a mom? A doctor?"

"Let's not worry about that now." 

"Why not?"

"It's not good for your health to worry. You just got out of surgery. We'll cross that bridge if we get there."

"We? Why we? Derek, we filed a separation agreement. Why are you here with me?"

"Because I think you need me. You shouldn't be alone." Derek tried to hold Addie's hands, but she moved them away from him.

"Kathy always said you had a savior complex."

"Addie, I want us to be friends."

"Derek, I don't want you to pity me. Poor Addie needs Derek, her prince charming."

"You think I'm charming?" Derek smiled. He thought some teasing might be useful in lifting Addie's mood.

Addie smiled. "If you're not telling me the truth, you're not charming."

"Addie, I'm telling you the truth." Derek was emphatic.

"And the truth is that there's a very good chance I'm going to be paralyzed."

"And there's a chance you won't be paralyzed. Let's focus on that."

"That possibility is slim."

"But it is there, Addie, so there's no reason to give up hope just yet."


	15. Chapter 15

Derek gave Ella a kiss on the top of her head. "I wish I could spend all day with you, sweetheart, but I have to go to a meeting in mommy's room in a few minutes. I don't know why your Dad wanted me to come, but he did. I would so much rather stay with you." He held Ella close and gave her head another kiss. "Why did he want me to come? It's a mystery to me. And Meredith is coming later. You'll like her, I think. After all, she's the one who encouraged me to come and take responsibility for you. I know that seems strange that Daddy's girlfriend wanted him to take on caring for you, given that Mark's your dad and Addie's your mom. We're going to have an unusual family life. The most important thing is that you're going to have a lot of love in your life. And I love you very much." He kissed her again, and he then put her back in the incubator.

He walked out of the nursery and immediately spotted his mom waiting outside.

"Derek, I knew I would find you here." Carolyn gave Derek a hug.

"Well, hanging out with Ella is fun. Thinking about Mark's will is very sad."

"Yes, it is." Carolyn patted his right arm.

"And you haven't seen Addie, yet, Mom."

"No. I was only here when she was in surgery."

"You haven't seen her since I left for Seattle."

"No, but I'm not mad at her any more, Derek. Like you, I've fallen in love with Ella, so I will only be kind to her mom." She gestured at the big bag she was carrying. "I brought her some gifts."

"What did you get?" Derek remembered that his mother had a checkered past when it came to giving Addie gifts. Some of her gifts had been successful – she had given Addie a lovely gold necklace when they had gotten engaged. But others had been spectacularly unsuccessful. For the first few years, Carolyn had given Addie a cookbook every Christmas. Addie took the gifts as a reprimand for her lack of interest in cooking. Derek had gotten some use of the cookbooks, but Addie had never even opened one. Derek had assured Addie that he didn't care if she ever cooked. Yet, another way that Addie and Meredith were alike, Derek realized with a chuckle.

"You'll see, I think she'll like this gift. It's not a cookbook." Carolyn chortled, well aware that her cookbook gifts had not been well received.

"That's good, Mom. Somehow, I fall in love with women who can't cook."

Carolyn nodded. "That's okay. At least I taught you to cook."

"Yes, Mom, I'm usually the cook. Although doctors order a lot of take-out."

"Do they deliver to the trailer?" Carolyn asked with some curiosity.

"I grill there, Mom. Or pick up take-out on the way there. Let's get going." The two of them started walking together to Addie's hospital room.

"How is Addie doing?"

"We still don't know whether the paralysis will be permanent. She's been able to pee, so they've removed the catheter, which is good, but she still hasn't had any feeling below her thighs. She's pretty depressed. And today's going to be very hard."

"I'm sure."

"She loved Mark, Mom."

"I know, sweetheart. It's heartbreaking for you both that she loved Mark and that he died."

"Yeah. And I don't know why he wanted me at the reading of his will."

"It could be an old will, Derek. You were friends for a long time."

"I don't know if it would be more depressing if it was an old will that he never changed or a new will. I still can't believe that I'll never see him again. And the last time I saw him was in my bedroom with Addie."

"But you have a lot of good memories of times with Mark, Derek. You need to think of those."

"Mom, they've been spinning in my head since I got the call and learned he was dead. He was my best friend since I was in kindergarten. And I guess I didn't completely turn that off, even after he did what he did."

"I loved him, too, Derek, no matter what. That's real love, if you love someone no matter what they do."

"I know."

They came to Addie's room. Derek knocked and then walked in with his mother following him.

"Good morning, Addie," said Carolyn and Derek simultaneously.

Addie looked up and said, "Good morning."

"I brought you a present," said Carolyn.

"You didn't have to do that, Carolyn."

"I know. I just wanted to. You're my granddaughter's mother."

"Not really. She's Mark's baby."

"Mark was a son to me, Addie."

"Even after he slept with me?" Addie asked.

Derek was surprised Addie brought up her affair to his mother.

"Of course. I loved Mark," responded Carolyn.

"Carolyn, Derek and I have promised us that we're always going to tell each other the truth now. And I need you to be honest with me."

Carolyn interrupted, "I've always been honest with you, Addie."

"Not really, Carolyn. I know you didn't like me."

"It's not that I didn't like you, Addie."

"Then what was it?"

"To be honest, I thought your family would look down on Derek because we're ordinary middle class folk."

"You were right about that, Carolyn, but I loved Derek. It didn't bother me."

"Maybe not. But you wanted to live like you did as a girl, with a brownstone on the Upper West Side and a house in the Hamptons."

"We were both surgeons with a good income. And Derek loved a good Italian suit and driving a Porsche."

"But now he's living in a trailer. Maybe that wasn't really him, Addie. But it all doesn't matter now, Addie. And we have a lot in common now. We've both lost the love of our lives. I know you loved Mark like I loved Derek's dad. And I want to help you with Ella. I know what it's like to raise fatherless children."

"Mom, I'm Ella's dad," Derek interrupted

"I know you're going to be a father figure for her, Derek, and her legal dad, but I know how hard it is going to be for Addie to see her grow up without Mark. Even now it hurts me that your dad isn't here to see. He'd be so proud that you've stepped up to help Addie with Ella."

"Thanks, Mom. Now give Addie her present."

Carolyn handed Addie the large bag. "I thought this was something you could use in rehab."

Addie opened the bag and found a grey Columbia Medical School sweatshirt and sweatpants. She smiled, happy for once with a present from Carolyn Shepherd.

"The pants are men's. They didn't have them in women's," Carolyn explained.

"They should be fine, Carolyn."

"There's something else there."

Addie picked the sweatshirt and a light blue onesie fell out with the name "Columbia Medical" on it as well as a lion's face. Addie's face lit up. "This is adorable, Carolyn."

"I thought you would like it. I may be terrible at getting gifts for daughter-in-laws, but I'm great with gifts for grandchildren." Carolyn chuckled.

"I've certainly seen you give great gifts to all your grandchildren, Carolyn. And so far you've only had one daughter-in-law," commented Addie.

"I'm going to give Ella many more gifts once we get to Seattle."

"I can't believe you're coming to Seattle to care for Ella."

"She's my granddaughter, Addie."

Addie looked at Derek. "Speaking of grandparents, weren't Mark's parents supposed to come."

Carolyn looked around the room, "Derek, we're going to need more chairs if they're coming."

"Mom, Addie, the lawyer said they were coming, but when have they ever showed up for Mark?"

Addie thought for a moment. "At our wedding. They came to see Mark be your best man."

Derek laughed. "Addie, they came because they wanted to hang out with your parents and their friends. It had nothing to do with Mark or me. His parents have missed virtually every important event in his life as long as I've known him. That's why my folks pretty much adopted him."

"Mark and I had a lot in common," Addie noted.

"Actually, your parents were much more interested in you than Mark's. They came to all your graduations, and your mom fretted about every detail of our wedding," Derek responded.

Addie laughed. "Glad to see you sticking up for Bizzy and the Captain."

"It's true."

"But they're not here now."

"But they knew I'm here."

"Derek, you're sweet, but they should be here, too. If it were Ella lying injured in a hospital, I would be there no matter what."

"You're a great mom."

There was a knock at the door, and a tall, skinny blonde man walked in. "I'm Jonathan Greenblatt, Mark's lawyer. Sorry I'm late, but there was traffic getting here. You know New York on a rainy day."

"That's okay," Addie responded.

Derek asked, "Are Mark's parents coming?"

"No, they just called. Something came up."

"I told you so," said Derek, looking at Addie. "You can have the seat. I can stand." Derek pointed to the empty chair. Carolyn was sitting.

"Okay," said Jonathan as he sat down. He opened his briefcase on his lap and removed some papers. "I usually have a desk."

Derek smiled and moved Addie's hospital tray over. "This tray is adjustable. You can use it." Derek adjusted the tray to fit right above Jonathan's lap.

"Thank you. Mark had told me to contact you in the event that he passed away for the reading of his will."

"When was this will written?" interrupted Carolyn.

"Mom," Derek reprimanded her.

"That's okay. It's not a secret. The will was done about three months ago."

Derek gasped, realizing that Mark had written the while at a time when he had been refusing Mark's calls. He really regretted not returning Mark's calls and not agreeing to the divorce earlier. He always assumed that Mark would be around and that he had plenty of time to let his anger cool.

"Anyway, I can summarize the bequests for you. His first bequest was $500,000 for Carolyn Shepherd."

Carolyn gasped, "For me?"

"Yes," answered Greenblatt.

"He loved you, Mom. You were much more of a mom to him than his own mother."

"When I first me he was an adorable little boy who really needed love."

"And you gave it to him, Mom."

"Now the money for Carolyn Shepherd is in a trust, and Derek is the trustee of the trust."

"A trust?" asked Derek.

"Yes, Mark told me that he thought Carolyn would find excuses not to spend the money on herself. So you have been instructed to spend at least 10% of the funds every year on Carolyn, although she may use the money for trips with a grandchild. But the money cannot be used to pay for more than one grandchild a trip."

"Mark really knew you, Mom," said Derek.

"I suppose he did."

"It's a wonderful gift," added Addie.

"I know. He shouldn't have."

"Well, Mom, he did, and it's going to be my job to see that you use the money."

"Well, you can start by using it for my stay in Seattle."

"I don't think that's what Mark had in mind, Mom. I'm happy to pay for you."

"Excuse me," said Jonathan. "I need to discuss the other bequests. You can work out how the money is going to be spent later. The next bequest is for Mark's parents. He also left them $500,000, and he said it to be used for spending time with Mark's children. And Derek is the trustee of that trust as well."

"What if they don't want to spend any time with Ella?"

"Any unspent funds go to Ella on her 25th birthday. Addison, Mark left you his apartment, his car, and all of his personal effects of you to dispose of as you wish, and $1,000,000 for you to us in maintaining the apartment, if you want it. All of his gifts to you are outright, so you can do what you want with everything. And then he left all the rest of his assets, which is a sizeable amount of stock, bonds, and cash, to his children in trust, with Derek as the trustee."

"Me again as trustee?"

"Yes. Now Mark had a terrific financial advisory, Annabelle Washington, and she can handle the investments, taxes, and other details of the trusts. I have her contact information here for you."

"That's great. I'm a doctor, not an investor. I don't know what Mark was thinking."

"Well, he left this letter for you," said Greenblatt, as he handed an envelope address to Dr. Derek Shepherd to Derek. "And that's everything I have to say about the will." He put the papers back in his briefcase, and got up to leave. "My work is done here. I will be probating the will and taking care of the estate. Please call me if you have any questions."

"Thank you for coming here," said Derek.

"Yes, thank you," added Addie.

"You're welcome. I'm very sorry for your loss. Mark was a great guy. Just let me know if there's anything any of you need."

"We will," responded Derek. And Greenblatt walked out.

Addie turned to Derek and said, "You know I don't need a penny from Mark for myself or for Ella."

"Looks like you have lots of pennies from Mark for both of you," he responded.

"Well, we can save Ella's money so she can have it when she's grown."

"It's up to you, Addie. From what the lawyer said, the only money that I have to make sure to spend is the money for my mom." Derek looked at the envelope with the letter from Mark.

"Are you going to read that letter?" asked Addie.

"Yes." Derek opened the envelope, and he began reading the letter allowed:

 _Dear Derek,_

 _You've been my brother since we were five years old. I know you were furious with me for sleeping with Addie, but you're still my brother. I hope that we have a chance to recover our friendship, but if you're reading this letter that means that I'm gone. So, whether or not we were able o recover our friendship in my lifetime, I need you now._

 _There's no one else I can trust for this, and I'm hoping that you're wiling to help Addie and my child (or children) if I'm gone._

 _I'm sorry we hurt you. If I were a better man, I would have waited until you and Addie were divorced before I got together with her, and I'm sorry for not doing that. But I knew your marriage was over. I hope that you will fall in love again, and that you will have a happy life._

 _But what I need from you is to take care of Addie and our child (children). I know Addie is a strong woman and very independent, and I know a single mom can do a great job raising a family. I saw your mom do an amazing job with five children after your dad died. But she also had some help from family and from her church._

 _Your dad showed me how important a father can be. And even though he died long ago, he left us both with a legacy about fatherhood. I want you to help Addie by being a father figure for my child (or children). And please make sure she knows that, while she can mourn me for a reasonable period of time, I would be very happy for her to fall in love again. She's a wonderful woman who deserves love and happiness always._

 _And knowing you, you might feel guilty about not returning my phone calls if I die before we talk. Please no that I forgive you. I understand that you were still furious with me. I understand._

 _Love, Mark_

Derek, Addie, and Carolyn all had tears streaming down their cheeks as Derek read the letter. Derek was the first to speak. "So it looks like Mark would be fine with our plan, Addie."

"Yeah," she replied.


End file.
